Arnold Schwarzenegger + Farts = This

It's been a long week ... and it's only Thursday. As we all anxiously wait to see James Gunn's Guardians of the Galaxy this weekend at least once, we're probably all in search of new ways to pass the time on the Internet. Look no further than Distractotron. If you like Conan the Barbarian, The Running Man and bodily functions, this is the video for you.

My Toy Raccoon Can Beat Up Your Toy Raccoon

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From SDCC 2014: Nipples on Batman Remain Disturbing

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I Find Your Lack of Windshield Wipers Disturbing ...

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Here's My SDCC Rental Car

I didn't sleep much last night, so my excitement over this video might be attributed to extreme fatigue. That being said, I'm absolutely giddy right now at the thought of a Pizza Hut-branded, life-sized and fully operational version of the Playmates Toys Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower being at San Diego's Comic-Con International this week.

Follow the hashtag #PizzaHutTMNT for updates. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits theaters August 8.

My Tweet from One Year Ago Today Will Be Relevant Next Week

'Entertainment Weekly' Unveils 'Avengers 2' Villain

Just in time for San Diego's Comic-Con International, Entertainment Weekly has debuted their latest cover featuring Iron Man, Captain America and their titular adversary in Avengers: Age of Ultron. As we've come to expect from the folks at Marvel Studios, Ultron and his minions look as they should, and I dig Steve Rogers' updated suit as well. Tony Stark's Iron Man armor looks pretty similar to what we saw in Iron Man 3, which is by no means a bad thing. If it ain't broke ...

Check out a preview of Entertainment Weekly's cover story and view exclusive photos from Age of Ultron by clicking here.

Breakfast of No. 1 Contenders

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Bustin' Makes Me Love Being a Turtle

Although the huge comic book news that broke today was that Marvel would be debuting a female Thor in October (if you think this is permanent, you haven't been paying attention), I was definitely more pumped to learn that IDW would be teaming up the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Ghostbusters in a four-issue comic book that same month. Regardless of how the final product turns out, this announcement entices me based on the fact that this is exactly the type of action figure scenario that I would create on my bedroom floor two years ago back in 1989.

To learn more about IDW's fall lineup, visit ComicBookResources.com.

'Weird Al' Keeps Things 'Tacky'

"Weird Al" Yankovic kicks off his #8videos8days campaign with a send-up of Pharrell's "Happy," featuring appearances by Aisha Taylor, Margaret Cho, Eric Stonestreet, Kristen Schaal and Jack Black. Weird Al's "Tacky" will be followed up this week with seven more videos from his new album, Mandatory Fun, which will be available tomorrow.

Check out the video below, via Nerdist.com.

Although I Normally Prefer Brunettes ...

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Happy Birthday, Harrison Ford!

And the geek icon birthdays keep coming! Harrison Ford turns 72 today, and although he's currently recovering from an ankle injury sustained on the set of Star Wars: Episode VII, let's hope Han Solo is doing something fun. Perhaps a few games of dejarik with an old friend? I'm guessing today, the Wookiee will let him win.

Happy Birthday, Sir Patrick Stewart!

He's nerd royalty. He's worshiped by both Star Trek and comic book fans. He's best friends with Magneto in real life. And today, it's his birthday.

Join me in honoring Captain Jean-Luc Picard/Professor Charles Xavier himself, Sir Patrick Stewart, many happy returns. It's a joyous day, and it kind of makes me want to sing just like this. 

I Hear Ya, Skaarn ...

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'They Come in Electric, Too?'

	James Wortman (@JamesWortman)
7/12/14, 8:01 PM I might have a long, in-depth discussion about "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" with the next person I see. Consider yourself warned, universe.

'Does This Mean We Have to Start Fighting?'

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'Patriot-1' Explodes on Kickstarter

My coworker and pal Kevin Powers is really going in hard on this whole Kickstarter thing in support of his creator-owned graphic novel Patriot-1 — a superheroic military thriller that’s been his passion project for the last several years. Although much of our attention is presently drawn to the “Big Two” and their associated TV and movie franchises, it’s becoming more important for us as comic book fans  to support the independent comic book scene. After all, it’s where tomorrow’s heroes are born.

Patriot-1 marks the first time I’ve ever contributed to a Kickstarter campaign for a comic book project, but it’s definitely something I can see myself doing more often based on the sheer number of incentives offered by savvy creators. By contributing to Patriot-1’s campaign, you can get your hands on character keys, prints, commissions by artist Dexter Wee and even a limited-edition vinyl figure of the title character. That’s a lot of win.

Find out how you can support Patriot-1 (and why I’m suddenly craving potato salad) by clicking here.

Rocket Moon Trio is My New Favorite Shirt

I don’t need T-shirts and I definitely don’t need more Marvel stuff. But how could I resist WeLoveFine’s amazing Rocket Raccoon-infused resurrection of the iconic “Three Wolf Moon” meme? Guardians of the Galaxy is still a couple of weeks out, but I have a strong feeling that Rocket is going to be one of the most iconic and quotable characters in the Marvel Cinematic Universe this side of Tony Stark. Prepare for Rocket Raccoon everything this year.

You can snag the shirt here, and you can catch James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy in theaters August 1.

(via Topless Robot)

Happy Fourth of July!

Wow, has it really been two weeks? Time certainly flies when you're A) Having fun and B) Frantically shuffling from one obligation to the next with your pants on backwards. I'll let you figure out which one of these I've been doing.

Anyway, today is Independence Day, a time for those of us in the ol' U.S. of A. to celebrate our many freedoms, eat lots of charred meat and watch explodey things go "shaboom!" in the night sky. It's a sweet deal.

However, if the thought of going outside today makes you as morose as Kal-El in that dark and stormy Batman V Superman teaser image, IFC is showing a massive marathon of the 1966 Batman TV series for the Fourth of July. Holy time sink!