J.J. Abrams Will Direct ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’

Well, it looks like a Chewbacca vs. Worf Steel Cage Match isn’t as far-fetched as it was a week ago.

Star Trek director J.J. Abrams has been tapped to helm Star Wars Episode VII, Deadline.com reports. Despite Abrams’ prior admission that he would like to instead experience Disney’s continuation of the iconic space saga as a fan, the Lost creator will take audiences to George Lucas’ “galaxy far, far away” in the summer of 2015.

Since Abrams’ Star Trek was the best Star Wars film in more than two decades, I couldn’t be happier that he’s in the director’s chair for Episode VII. This will mark the first time that a lifelong Star Wars fan will direct a live-action Star Wars film, and it will be interesting to see someone with Abrams’ talents pick up where Lucas left off.

For more on this developing story, click here.

‘Gremlins’ Reboot Reportedly in the Works

You know how the internet loses its mind whenever a studio considers rebooting something from the 1980s? That happened again this past week when Vulture reported that Warner Bros. was pondering a reboot/remake/revamp/re-whatever of Gremlins, its quirky 1984 film about mischievous green monsters running amok in a bucolic Norman Rockwell-esque town during Christmas.

Revisiting the premise seems like a no-brainer from a marketing standpoint. It’s not like the main character Gizmo — a doe-eyed, big-eared furry little creature that speaks in infant-like coos — hasn’t been merchandized ad nauseum over the past three decades. Heck, you can find plush Gizmos alongside action figures of his slimy, sharp-toothed co-stars on Toys “R” Us shelves as I type this. A brand-new film opens the floodgates for an even broader selection of consumer products, and that makes perfect sense to me. Filmmaking is a business, after all.

Yet, I should point out that although Warner Bros. is speaking with Amblin Entertainment head Steven Spielberg — who produced the original film and its sequel—it has yet to be revealed whether director Joe Dante has been included in any of these discussions. Dante brought the proper comedic sensibilities to the original Gremlins, and his tongue-in-cheek handling of its more madcap follow-up, Gremlins 2: The New Batch, made that film an instant cult classic. Without Dante, a Gremlins reboot would just be yet another goofy monster movie.

And speaking of those monsters, it’s likely Warner Bros. will want to render the title characters digitally in lieu of the original films’ gruesomely detailed puppets. Sure, the original films were limited by the technology at the time, but CGI gremlins would be about as appealing as CGI Muppets. And if Warner Bros. even thinks about giving us a CGI Phoebe Cates in their Gremlins remake, I will anger-blog them SO HARD.

Ahem.

For the full story, click here.

Obama Administration Firmly Opposed to Death Star

If you ever wanted to know U.S. President Barack Obama’s stance on moon-sized superlaser-equipped space stations, a new letter from the White House’s Science and Space Branch confirms that the Obama administration “does not support blowing up planets.”

The cheeky write-up, titled “The Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For,” is in reaction to a petition calling on the construction of a Death Star for the purposes of job creation and national defense. Ewoks and Alderaanians, it seems, can rest easy for now.

In addition to affirming the administration’s staunch opposition to orbital superweapons, the letter notes that “construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.” The document also poses a question that would make Grand Moff Tarkin blush: “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?”

Why, indeed. For more presidential Star Wars goodness, check out the full letter by clicking here.