THIS!!! IS!!!! WORTA!!!!!

Okay, so that headline sounded a lot better in my head. 300 is here, and those of you who had any intention of seeing it have probably done so already. If not, you might want to consider it. It's a hell of a ride.

Notice that I said "ride" and not "film." For all intents and purposes, 300, directed by Zack Snyder, exists solely to entertain you from beginning to end. Sure, there's a plot in there, expanded significantly from that of Frank Miller's original graphic novel (which was a loose retelling of the real-life Battle of Thermopylae), but it really takes a backseat to the visuals and the action. Basically, King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) leads his personal army against the invading Persian Empire despite the criticisms of Sparta's council. As far as a plot, that's pretty much it. In this instance, this is a good thing. 300 promises action and it delivers plenty of it, with some terrific visuals and plenty of cheer-inducing action sequences. The bloodshed, which is presented in a stylized fashion, is less barbaric and more artistic in that it's so otherworldly. It's escapism at its best, and isn't that what movies are all about? Cue film snob "well, actually" diatribe here.

Enough about the film's artistic take on decapitation and dismemberment. This is a guy movie at its base. Sure, the (remarkably few) ladies in the audience will enjoy the fact that all of the guys in the movie are chiseled and basically wearing leather briefs, but this is one movie tailor-made for those with Y-chromosomes. All of the characters speak in testosterone-laden sound bytes, all of the females bare their breasts at least once, and most importantly, as mentioned earlier, the action never lets up.

300 is one of those rare movies that demands viewing on the big-screen, preferably in an IMAX theater if there's one near you. It's got giant battles, the most stylized violence this side of Tarantino, and it even has mutant Persian ninjas. See it, drink a beer, and scratch yourself. Man up.