Tyler Perry to Play Baxter Stockman in 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2'

Wow, this movie is going to be insane.

Since the first Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was an entertaining mess at best,  I strongly support the inherent wackiness of casting Madea herself/himself, Tyler Perry, as  Mouser-creating scientist Baxter Stockman. Hopefully, Perry's participation leads to a spin-off film, Diary of a Mad, Mutant Fly.

Variety's got the full story. Click here for more on this casting news.

Five Observations About the New 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' Trailer

As was probably the case with many of you today, my social media feeds were inundated with commentary on the newly released trailer for the Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film ... most of which has skewed toward the "Michael Bay ruins everything" side of things. To be fair, a lot of those gripes are justified, as just about everything about the trailer — including Megan Fox as the film's resident pouty-lipped and flabbergasted female — leads me to believe that this will be closer to Transformers than The Avengers in terms of faithful cinematic adaptations.

That being said, it's not all bad, necessarily. Here are five things I took away from my first few viewings of the trailer.

1. The turtles themselves are huge, which complicates the whole "ninja" part of the franchise. There's no way these massive, muscled reptiles are sneaking anywhere covertly when they're making loud thud noises whenever they jump around. In WWE parlance, they should probably be more Daniel Bryan than Brock Lesnar.
2. There's nothing necessarily wrong with the actual animation of the turtles themselves, but I think giving the guys lips and noses injects the film with a whole lot of unnecessary nightmare fuel. I'd rather the special effects team created digital versions of the Jim Henson-designed suits worn for the 1990 film, or at least used those as a template.
3. Although it's popular to bash Megan Fox on the internet these days, there's nothing overwhelmingly egregious about her performance as April O'Neil in this trailer. That hasn't stopped people from tweeting their outrage about her, but I guess haters gonna hate.
4. Shredder should technically be played by a Japanese actor if we're going to adhere to the original comics and cartoon series, but I'm genuinely curious to see what William Fichtner does with the role. Also, based on what we've seen in the trailer, filmmakers nailed the Shredder suit. 
5. Chemically-altered turtle shells apparently make pretty good snowboards. Cowabunga and such.

Check out the trailer below. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hits screens August 8.

‘Transformers 4’ on the Way?

Wait, what? Didn’t Michael Bay say everything he had to say about robots fighting other robots in Transformers: Dark of the Moon? Well, according to The Hollywood Reporter, Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and the rest of the gang might be transforming and rolling out in yet another installment in the blockbuster series.

Reportedly, Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner is in talks with Bay, studio partner Paramount and franchise executive producer Steven Spielberg about a fourth Transformers film. Now, even though thought Dark of the Moon was pretty good for what it was—mindless metal-on-metal explosion porn—I think we’ve reached our quota on Transformers movies for at least the next decade. Then again, there are tickets and toys to be sold, so it’s not like I’m all that surprised that Hasbro is pushing to continue the series.

Other Hasbro films in the works include Micronauts, Ouija, Candyland, Risk, Stretch Armstrong, Clue and Monopoly. And to think, some people believe that cinema is dying!

Michael Bay Brings the Boom with ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’

Few films divide geeks quite like those in Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise. Upon the release of each movie, film fanatics typically find themselves in two camps: Either they laud the films for their brash evasion of complex storytelling in favor of bombastic excess and CGI smackdowns between giant robots, or they view their incredible box office success as a prime indicator of our cultural collapse.

Whatever you think about Bay or his films based on Hasbro’s robots in disguise, it’s impossible to ignore the fact that Transformers: Dark of the Moon is poised to be one of the biggest releases in 2011. However, after the lackluster Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, is this third installment worth the hefty 3D ticket price? Read on to find out.

About that last movie …
From the opening frames of Dark of the Moon, it’s clear that Bay is sorry about how much Revenge of the Fallen sucked on a base level, and makes up for that massive misstep with a far more interesting narrative and a lot more action than its predecessor. In fact, the final hour of the film is essentially one long action sequence, as the Autobots—led by Optimus Prime—take the fight to the Decepticons as Chicago crumbles around them.

This is all well and good, but Bay simply can’t escape his tendency to transform his human characters into bizarre, eccentric caricatures. Series newcomers like Ken Jeong, John Malkovich, Alan Tudyk and Frances McDormand—playing an excessively terse U.S. National Intelligence director—are so over-the-top in their roles that they undermine the more serious portions of the film. Like when the world is ending.

Additionally, John Turturro’s Agent Simmons character is wackier than ever, while protagonist Sam Witwicky’s mom, played by Julie White, uses her brief time onscreen to talk about the size of her son’s penis and the importance of cunnilingus. I wish I was kidding.

The new girl
After Megan Fox compared Bay to Adolf Hitler in the press, Bay and executive producer Steven Spielberg were understandably unhappy with her, especially considering the fact that it was the original 2007 Transformers film that made her a star. With Fox out of the picture, Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely stars opposite Shia LaBeouf as Carly Spencer, Sam’s wealthy British girlfriend.

Huntington-Whitely does just fine in the role, although the circumstances of Sam’s breakup with Fox’s character, Mikaela, are a bit hackneyed at best. Plus, it’s hard to feel bad for Sam at the beginning of the film when he whines to Carly about not being able to find a job after college. Mooching off a hot rich girl doesn’t seem like such a bad gig, but I digress.

Now, I’m not sure if this has something to do with the film being shot in 3D or what, but there were certain scenes where Huntington-Whitely’s lips looked HUGE, and the size of her smackers actually fluxuates throughout the movie. I’m not alone in thinking this was ridiculous, as the audience erupted in laughter during several of her close-ups in the third act. I doubt this was the intended reaction.

The good
Because there are new toys to be made, there are several new Transformers introduced in Dark of the Moon. In addition to returning Autobots like Optimus, Bumblebee, Sideswipe and the foul-mouthed Wheelie, we meet the Wreckers, a group of brawlers bluntly described by McDormand’s character as “assholes.” We also meet a James Bond-inspired techie named Que and Wheelie’s wild-haired new buddy named Brains, who transforms into a laptop.

The most important new addition to the Autobot ranks is the aged Sentinel Prime, voiced by Star Trek icon Leonard Nimoy. Fleeing Cybertron during the planet’s cataclysmic civil war, Sentinel crash-landed an Autobot spacecraft called the Ark on the far side of Earth’s moon. Thanks to a little revisionist history, it’s the discovery of this alien ship that initiates the Space Race between the United States and the Soviet Union in the 1960s. But undiscovered inside the Ark—left dormant as Sentinel slumbered—is precious cargo that could have changed the tied of the war on Cybertron.

No stranger to the Transformers universe after voicing Galvatron in 1986’s animated Transformers: The Movie, Nimoy joins longtime Optimus voice actor Peter Cullen and Lord of the Rings/Matrix/Captain America actor Hugo Weaving (as a battle-ravaged Megatron) in lending some major nerd credibility to the film. Also, I should add that Sentinel Prime is responsible for the coolest twist in the series, and I’m sincerely happy the folks at Paramount haven’t spoiled it in their promotional materials.

The bad and the ugly
Because Dark of the Moon is all about the Decepticons’ last-ditch assault on Earth and the Autobots, we are also introduced to some new evil automatons. Joining Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave are Laserbeak—Soundwave’s pteranodon-esque henchman—the slobbering Igor and the imposing Shockwave. Using a massive worm-like monstrosity as a means of transportation as well as devastation, Shockwave is simply badass.

Cause and effect
“Okay, so the movie’s about Sam not being able to find a job and the Decepticons once again trying to kill and/or enslave the human race … how are the special effects?” I’m glad you asked. Storytelling has never quite been Bay’s forte, but the man sure does know how to blow up a city. In this case, it’s Chicago.

Enhanced by some incredible use of James Cameron’s 3D technology, Dark of the Moon looks great. The transformation sequences are better than they’ve ever been, and the action during the film’s extended climax in the Windy City wonderfully blends CGI and live action.

Also, while I’m sure this was just another example of Bay’s fetishistic fascination with military hardware, there are some cool aerial sequences toward the end of the film showcasing a group of precision skydivers wearing high-tech wingsuits. Pointless? Kinda. But these scenes are fun to watch.

More than meets the eye?
Is Transformers: Dark of the Moon all style with very little substance? Sort of, although you’ll care a lot more about what’s going on this time around thanks to the higher stakes and some genuine peril throughout. All that said, the plot is loaded with holes large enough to drive Optimus Prime through, and several potentially dramatic moments that are marred by Bay’s reluctance to portray his human characters as anything more than mugging marionettes and exposition delivery systems.

Nevertheless, the action scenes in Dark of the Moon are undeniably slick, and more than justify the higher cost of seeing the film in 3D. In terms of sheer spectacle, Bay has redeemed himself after the disappointing Revenge of the Fallen, and has delivered what is arguably his best Transformers film yet.

Michael Bay Urges Fans to See ‘Transformers 3’ in 3D

Based on the escalated marketing bombardment over the last few days, you’re probably well aware that Transformers: Dark of the Moon hits theaters worldwide tomorrow. Some of the early reviews are saying this is the best Transformers film yet, and while I’ll never quite forget how soul-crushingly idiotic the last film was, I’m kind of hoping director Michael Bay redeems himself with his third and presumably final Autobots vs. Decepticons epic. Because, hey, the first one was pretty cool.

In anticipation of the film’s release, Bay has been hard at work to ensure that moviegoers are seeing the best version of the film possible. In a posting on his official website, MichaelBay.com, the explosion enthusiast urged fans to see the film in 3D, a format he was vehemently opposed to prior to shooting Dark of the Moon.

“Dark of the Moon has some of the most technically challenging sequences ever shot. And shot in 3D,” Bay wrote. “I must urge you to find the very best theatre and see this movie in that format. 3D was a forethought, not an afterthought in this movie. I’m glad [3D innovator] Jim Cameron and [Dark of the Moon executive producer] Steven Spielberg really convinced me to shoot in this new technology.”

Will you be seeing Transformers: Dark of the Moon in 3D? Do you really think Dark of the Moon makes up for the abysmal Revenge of the Fallen? Sound off on my Facebook page, or continue the conversation by following me on Twitter and using the hashtag #WortReport

Transforming an Opinion

These days, Transformers fandom is typically dominated by people complaining that director Michael Bay has, through his last two Transformers films, engaged in a number of violent sexual acts with their childhoods. It’s refreshing, then, that legions of Autobot aficionados and Decepticon devotees now have something to celebrate: Transformers: War for Cybertron is a great game.

“Hold on,” you might say. “A licensed game that’s actually playable is rare enough, but there’s a good Transformers video game on store shelves?” There is, dear reader. And while I appreciate your enthusiasm, talking aloud to your computer monitor simply isn’t healthy.

War for Cybertron has nothing to do with Bay’s films, but if it did, it would take place long before Optimus Prime befriended an excitable Shia LaBeouf or Bumblebee gave John Turturro a golden shower (about which he was certainly not excited). Based on the fan-favorite Generation 1 continuity, the game follows the civil war between the heroic Autobots, led by Zeta Prime, and the devious Decepticons, led by the power-hungry Megatron. Players participate in both sides of the war, taking control of iconic characters such as the heir apparent Autobot leader Optimus (voiced by cartoon and film voice actor Peter Cullen), Bumblebee, Ratchet, Megatron, Starscream and Soundwave. The campaigns aren’t long, clocking in at about four hours each, but the gameplay is so frenetic and fun you’ll be compelled to play through both sides of the war at least once.

Like last summer’s Arkham Asylum—which made the most out of the Batman license while delivering an overwhelmingly satisfying console experience—War for Cybertron similarly serves as a love letter to fans of its franchise while showing off some surprisingly solid play mechanics. Developer High Noon Studios put gameplay first, building this title as a strong third-person shooter that just happens to take place in the Transformers universe. When these titles are developed the other way around, as licensed products that just happen to be video games, then things get problematic.

Playing a lot like Gears of War, War for Cybertron ditches that game’s cover system in favor of the ability to transform your character from robot to vehicle form at any time. This might seem gimmicky, as was the case in previous Transformers games, but transforming in this title is incredibly fluid and organic, allowing players to approach firefights and other challenges in a variety of ways.

Like most shooters these days, there is a sizeable multiplayer component in War for Cybertron, including a number of competitive and cooperative online game modes. Although I haven’t had the time to dive too deeply into the multiplayer, something tells me the single-player campaigns were originally designed for more than one participant (the game supports three-player online co-op). I’m not complaining about the game’s difficulty, even though it does get frustrating at times and ammo seems scarce, but certain moments in the campaigns seem more overwhelming on the medium difficulty setting than they were likely intended to be.

Additionally, although the visuals in this game are solid, Cybertron doesn’t offer a whole lot of variety in terms of locations. I don’t expect the Transformers’ homeworld to be lush and vibrant, but one does tire of brown and gray metal corridors. Perhaps an Earth-centric sequel will rectify this issue.

You might at first dismiss Transformers: War for Cybertron as a lame, licensed cash-in title, but it’s a lot more than that. If you’re a longtime Transformers fan (and what child of the 1980s isn’t?) then this is the proper Transformers game you’ve been waiting for. For everyone else not steeped in Cybertronian lore, it’s easily a worthwhile rental. And who knows? This could transform (ha!) you into a fan of the property in ways Michael Bay could not.

I didn’t want to sign off with a cliché, but it’s pretty irresistible at this point. Ahem: Unlike other licensed games, Transformers: War for Cybertron is certainly “more than meets the eye.”

Yeesh. Now I feel dirty. Where’s Bumblebee with that shower?

Michael Bay Promises Less “Dorky Comedy” in Transformers 3

You know what? I might get blasted for writing this, but I’m actually starting to get excited for Transformers 3. Although I’ll sorely miss Megan Fox, who was ousted from the third film and replaced by Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely, it seems to me like director Michael Bay is actually trying to make the third film in this franchise a lot better than its abysmal predecessor, 2009’s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Granted, that could be accomplished simply by including a plot that A) makes sense and B) doesn’t overtly try to insult the audience’s intelligence at every turn, but when it comes to giant robots and explosions, I try to think positively.

According to a recent USA Today story, Bay and his team fully acknowledge that Revenge of the Fallen simply wasn’t as good as the first film, which I actually enjoyed quite a bit as a piece of light summer movie entertainment.

“I’ll take some of the criticism,” Bay said. “It was very hard to put [the sequel] together that quickly after the writers’ strike [of 2007-08].”

Producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura added, “We tried to do too many things in the second movie, which didn’t give enough time in any one of them. We were constantly jumping to the next piece of information, the next place.”

One of the things Bay is intensely focused on this time around is toning down what he calls “the dorky humor” of the last film, specifically the blatantly offensive racial caricatures Mudflap and Skids, who all too often turned the film into a big-budget minstrel show. “They’re basically gone,” he said.

Bay revealed to USA Today that the main villain this time around will be Shockwave, the cycloptic, Generation 1 Decepticon tyrant who transforms into a giant laser gun, and that the film will somehow tie into the space race between the United States and the U.S.S.R.

“The movie is more of a mystery,” Bay said of his third and presumably final Transformers film. “It ties in what we know as history growing up as kids with what really happened.”

Transformers 3 hits theaters July 1, 2011.

Michael Bay to Reboot Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Franchise

First off, here’s wishing each and every one of you a happy Memorial Day weekend. I should also add that I apologize for the relatively sporadic updates as of late. I’ve been settling into a phenomenal new job, and I’m trying desperately to maintain some semblance of a work/life balance. Nevertheless, I’m going to try to update two or three times a week, provided that the nerd news is juicy enough to comment on. I think Deadline.com’s report that Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes is rebooting the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie franchise certainly qualifies.

According to the article, Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon have enlisted Bay’s Platinum Dunes to produce a live-action reboot of the TMNT series, which New Line Cinema launched in 1990. So, Cowabunga? Well, maybe not. The Internet is already up in arms about this news, with many claiming that Bay will “ruin” the Turtles as he did Transformers. Pee jokes and racial stereotypes anyone? How about exploding pizzas?

All jokes aside, I’m less worried about Bay’s involvement than most people. After all, it’s not like he’ll be sitting in the director’s seat. What does worry me is the fact that Platinum Dunes has pretty much cornered the market on mediocre remakes of classic horror franchises (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street, for example). Thus, there’s little indication that they will steer this property in the right direction.

If you troll a few message boards, you’re likely to come across more than a few children of the 1980s hoping that this Turtles reboot will take the franchise back to its gritty, black-and-white comic book roots. Sure, while it would be nice to see a faithful adaptation of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s independent comic book series, the reality is that the pizza-lovin’ goofballs introduced in the cartoon and the live-action movies were far more marketable. It's likely that Turtles movies will always lean in that direction, but how about a PG-13 relaunch that brings some edge to these characters without alienating the kids?

Megan Fox Booted from Transformers 3

For many of you, this news will serve as yet another reason not to see Transformers 3.

According to Deadline.com’s Nikki Finke, Paramount will not be picking up Megan Fox’s option on Transformers 3 and, reportedly, the decision to oust her from the blockbuster flick rested with Michael Bay.

Considering the fact that Megan Fox has been trashing the director in the press over the past year or so, saying he’s “like Hitler on his sets” among other disparaging remarks, it’s not all that surprising that Bay dumped her. However, Bay did seem to confirm Fox’s involvement in the film late last year when he confirmed its release date: July 1, 2011.

“P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back,” Bay wrote in an October posting on his website. “I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture.”

Well, I guess he was half right, since it’ll be some other hot, young starlet of questionable acting talent on the run from evil alien robots next summer when Transformers 3 hits theater.

Racist Robots Won’t Return in Transformers 3

There were plenty of problems with last summer’s inexplicably lucrative Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but the film’s most glaring insult to American moviegovers was the inclusion of two foul-mouthed, illiterate Autobots named Mudflap and Skids, arguably the most blatant black stereotypes in recent cinematic history.

Fortunately, director Michael Bay has confirmed on his official website, Shoot for the Edit, that the racist robots known as The Twins won’t be making a return appearance in Transformers 3, which is slated for release on July 1, 2011.

“The Twins are not back in T3,” Bay wrote in a message board post on the subject. Has this notorious explosion enthusiast realized the error of his ways, or is he just focusing his energy on creating new needlessly controversial characters? I guess we’ll all find out next summer when Transformers 3 hits theaters.

Backlash of the Titans

Warner Bros.’ remake of 1980s cult classic Clash of the Titans hits U.S. theaters this weekend, and the early buzz isn’t great. While many critics have taken aim at the paper-thin plot and lackluster performance by Avatar alum Sam Worthington—who plays Greek demigod Perseus in the flick—the primary flaw appears to be the 3D conversion process forced upon the film in post-production. In his less-than-glowing review, Drew McWeeny of HitFix.com calls Clash’s 3D “an unwatchable mess, ugly and strange and difficult to sit through.” He adds, “This is the polar opposite of Avatar, which was designed in 3D, shot in 3D, and which did all of its FX work with 3D in mind.”

Duncan Bowles from Den of Geek writes, “I cannot emphasize this enough: do not pay out for the 3D, as it simply isn’t there. The director [Louis Leterrier, who helmed The Incredible Hulk] didn’t even want it apparently, but lo and behold, Clash of the Titans was retro-fitted to turn a fast buck and the result is shocking. Please, please if you go and see Clash of the Titans, watch it in 2D before this whole mess gets out of hand.”

Indeed, it looks like the 3D post-conversion trend is turning out to be a massive step in the wrong direction, and it’s really just getting started. Fortunately, some directors are taking a stand. Love him or hate him, Michael Bay has emerged as a vocal opponent to the 3D conversion process, which producers have tried forcing on him for the third Transformers film. He’s not impressed.

“Right now, it looks like fake 3D, with layers that are very apparent,” Bay told Deadline.com’s Mike Fleming. “You go to the screening room, you are hoping to be thrilled, and you’re thinking, ‘huh, this kind of sucks’. People can say whatever they want about my movies, but they are technically precise, and if this isn’t going to be excellent, I don’t want to do it. And it is my choice.”

As I posted recently, James Cameron—the man indirectly responsible for this 3D gold rush with the massively successful Avatar—is also opposed to post-production 3D conversion, saying that 3D should be a creative decision made by the director.

“This is another example of Hollywood getting it wrong,” he said. “Now, you’ve got people quickly converting movies from 2D to 3D, which is not what we did. They’re expecting the same result, when in fact they will probably work against the adoption of 3D because they’ll be putting out an inferior product.”

Bottom line? Don’t support half-assed 3D conversions. If you want to see Clash this weekend, see it in 2D as it was meant to be seen.

Michael Bay Confirms New Cast Members, Locations and a New Autobot for Transformers 3

Director Michael Bay has confirmed on his website that pre-shooting on Transformers 3 will begin in about one month, and that locations in the film will include Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington, DC, Florida, Texas, Africa, Moscow and China (wow). Bay also announced that Frances McDormand and John Malkovich will be joining the cast alongside Ken Jeong, whom audiences might recognize from Step Brothers, The Hangover and, most recently, NBC’s Community. Since Jeong is of Asian descent, and given the fact that Bay loves his broad, offensives ethnic stereotypes, I’m guessing he’ll play a Chinese delivery guy who can’t drive. Or he’ll own a nail salon. Laughing yet?

On the giant robot front, Bay wrote that one of the new Autobots in the film will be a Ferrari 458 Italia (pictured). We know nothing about the actual character, but something tells me that Bay won’t be able to resist going the Jersey Shore route with this guy. We know Autobots can probably pump their fists, but can they tan?

The film is scheduled to open on July 1, 2011.

Michael Bay Promises Less Robots, Explosions in Transformers 3

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times’ Hero Complex blog, Michael Bay vowed that there would be less robots and fewer explosions in the forthcoming third Transformers film, seemingly forgetting that pyrotechnics and giant robots were among the only things that actually worked in the first two movies. However, he did say that there would be more emphasis on character this time around.

“There will be a nice crescendo ending,” Bay said. “It gets much more into the robot character. The last time you kind of met a few of the robots; this time you’re gonna get a much cooler landscape.”

Sounds great, as long as Bay lays off the toilet humor, needlessly complicated plotting, lame comedy sidekicks and not-so-subtle racism in Transformers 3 (spoiler alert: he won’t). Sure, Revenge of the Fallen grossed more than $834 million worldwide, but can you imagine how much more successful that film might have been if it didn’t insult the audience’s intelligence outright?

Transformers 3 is scheduled to hit theaters in July 2011.

Michael Bay: Megan Fox’s Character Won’t Be Killed Off in Transformers 3

While the tension between Megan Fox and her Transformers director Michael Bay is the stuff of legend at this point (she has reportedly compared him to Hitler), the explosion enthusiast rushed to his leading lady’s defense at a recent Victoria’s Secret fashion show.

“She called me [after the Hitler comment] and goes, ‘It’s all bullsh—t, Mike,’” Bay told USA Today’s Andrea Mandell. “The press, they just like to prey, and stalk, and pounce and find a good little juicy thing. But she’s always wanted to do these crazy comments. That’s just her. She’s great.”

As for those rumors that Bay’s going to kill off her character, Mikaela Banes, in the next Transformers sequel? “No, no, no,” he said. “She gets enough of that already.”

The USA Today piece points out that Bay directs commercials for Victoria’s Secret, which is a bit of a shock. That being the case, I’m surprised we haven’t seen more pyrotechnics and giant robot genitals in our lingerie ads.

Transformers 3 Set for 2011

This may not necessarily be the most awesome news for those of us who sat through the barely coherent (albeit pretty) Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but director Michael Bay announced October 1 on his Shoot for the Edit site that he has a “great Transformers 3 story,” and that the release date of the sequel has been moved up to July 1, 2011 from 2012.

According to his blog, Bay has already had a five-hour meeting with visual effects powerhouse Industrial Light & Magic in San Francisco, and is in talks with Transformers toy manufacturer Hasbro about new character designs.

Bay ends the post with a shot at franchise star Megan Fox, who has described him in the press as being “like Hitler on the sets” among other widely publicized insults. Despite this apparently rocky professional relationship, she will be returning in the next installment.

He writes:

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

Ouch.

The Trailer for the Elm Street Remake Hits the Web, Haunts Your Dreams

I wouldn’t necessarily call myself a proponent of the current wave of reboots, remakes and reimaginings—save for J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek and a few other standouts—but I’m liking what we’ve seen thus far from the new take on A Nightmare on Elm Street that’s hitting theaters next year. After watching the trailer, which has been posted on MySpace, you might too.

In the teaser, we get our first look at Jackie Earle Haley (Watchmen, Little Children) as razor-gloved supernatural killer Freddy Krueger. While former Freddy Robert Englund will certainly be missed, director Samuel Bayer seems to be making this character truly frightening for the first time since Wes Craven’s 1984 original.

The Michael Bay-produced remake is scheduled to open April 30, 2010.

Ice Age 3 Ties Transformers 2 Over Holiday Weekend

Over the Fourth of July weekend, box office newcomer Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs tied for first place with blockbuster smash Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, with both films earning $42.5 million domestically since Friday, July 3, according to studio estimates and reported on by the Los Angeles Times. Dawn of the Dinosaurs grossed $67.5 million since its Wednesday opening, with Revenge of the Fallen raking in $65 million during that same time period. Overall, the Michael Bay-helmed Transformers sequel has earned $293.5 million in U.S. theaters since its June 24 release.

Michael Mann’s Public Enemies—starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale—came in third with $26.2 million for the weekend and $41 million since opening Wednesday.

Worldwide, Revenge of the Fallen has earned a staggering $591.4 million, making it the biggest movie of the year in domestic and foreign markets. I think Bay just bought a new country: Explodistan.

7/6 Update: Actual studio figures released on Monday morning showed that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen narrowly beat Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs for the top spot at the box office, earning $42.4 million compared to the latter film's $41.6 million (via The New York Times).

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Scores More Than $200 Million in Five Days

Hate it or love it, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen raked in $108 million domestically over the weekend, earning $200.1 million since its June 24 opening, The Associated Press reports. The Michael Bay sequel had the second-best five-day gross of all time, trailing behind 2008’s The Dark Knight by just $3.7 million.

Despite being panned by critics, word-of-mouth on Revenge of the Fallen has been surprisingly positive. It seems as though most filmgoers are willing to overlook the film’s pacing, storytelling and continuity flaws in order to lose themselves the spectacle of it all. I wish I could join them.

It’s not that I hate this film. I still thoroughly enjoy the original Transformers and I think the action scenes in this installment are some of the best we’ve seen in quite some time. But it’s a fairly entertaining 90-minute film that’s stretched out to a mind-numbing two-and-a-half hours. And far too much of that time is dominated by pointless and often irritating filler material.

Read my full review at Broken Frontier.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Has Record-Breaking Opening

Despite being pummeled by critics, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opened strong on Wednesday, June 24, earning $60.6 million in ticket sales, The New York Times reports. The sequel, directed by Michael Bay, has set a new record for a Wednesday opening, besting 2007’s Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which earned $44.2 million on its opening day.

Most critics are calling Revenge of the Fallen loud, cluttered and downright stupid. In his review, Roger Ebert describes it as “a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments.” He adds, “If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” Ouch.

However, Paramount Pictures said audience opinion has been overwhelmingly positive, with exit interviews on opening day showing that 91 percent of ticket buyers thought the film was better than or as good as the original Transformers.

Is Michael Bay Done With Transformers? Nope.

It was reported last week that pyrotechnic auteur Michael Bay would be leaving the Transformers series after the second film in favor of smaller, more personal projects. Wait, what?

“After the three-and-a-half years I've spent making these movies, I feel like I've had enough of the Transformers world,” Bay was quoted as saying. “I need to do something totally divergent, something without any explosions.”

Many news sources took this to mean that Bay is growing tired of blockbusters, but the director confirmed that the press is exaggerating. Without explosions and visual effects, wouldn’t his movies consist almost entirely of military fetishization, glistening half-naked women and product placement? Not that I’m complaining about glistening women, but this story doesn’t add up.

As reported by FilmDrunk, Bay revealed on his official message board that what he meant was that he needs time off from the undeniably demanding Transformers franchise to pursue other interests, not that he was abandoning action films entirely. He wrote, “Love press how they spin. Never said it—just wanted a vacation is more to the point.”

Phew. I was worried there for a second.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen hits U.S. theaters June 24.