On ‘She-Hulk,’ ‘The Rings of Power’ and the Toxicity of Modern Fandom

 

“the MCU was already finished but now it's officially dead”

“seeing she-hulk twerk just might be the worst thing i have ever seen in a minute”

“with three episodes, I feel like it’s safe to say She-Hulk is BAD”

These are tweets from actual, human, and presumably adult people who are ABSOLUTELY LOSING THEIR MINDS over the recent episode of Marvel Studios’ She-Hulk on Disney+. In the B-story of the episode, attorney Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk (Tatiana Maslany) gets involved in a court case involving a former colleague and a Megan Thee Stallion “impersonator” (actually a New Asgardian light elf in disguise, but we don’t need to get into all that). The real Megan makes a cameo appearance, the episode ends in a brief scuffle with The Wrecking Crew, credits roll.

Then there’s a mid-credits scene. THE mid-credits scene. The light-hearted stinger that has passionate MCU “fans” frothing at the mouth in the worst ways possible.

In it, a hulked-up Jennifer signs Megan as a client and the two twerk to “Body.” Booties are popped, fun is had, and the MCU breathes its last breath … or that’s what some (and overwhelmingly male) YouTubers and bad-faith Tweeters would have you believe.

Now, I will go on record and state that I don’t necessarily love everything that Marvel Studios has done in terms of their Disney+ Originals, and I’m of the mind that I’d rather have fewer quality stories as opposed to the absolute glut of content we’ve been getting. But as a comic book reader, I also don’t care for every title that Marvel title that comes out. And I daresay there are few who do. But you pick and choose your favorites characters and stories, you drop titles that no longer interest you, and – pay attention to this important part – you IGNORE THE STUFF YOU DON’T LIKE.

But in a digital media economy fueled by impressions, views and subscribers, the irate contrarian is king. Why would anyone simply come to terms with the fact that She-Hulk isn’t for them when there is attention (and revenue) to be gained? Fury is a cottage industry, and these grifters are entrepreneurs.

And that anger is evidently contagious and passed down to the followers of these petulance peddlers. Twitter accounts with under 50 followers are among the fastest to label new shows as “awful,” with “bad writing,” yet they simply cannot stop talking about the things they can’t stand (perhaps in an effort to gain a furious following themselves). And the fact that most of these accounts – both big and small – seem to harp on issues of “wokeness” and “SJW propaganda” tells you all you need to know about what kinds of people they are.

Star Wars and Marvel have suffered the brunt of this toxic behavior for the past few years (DC has been a close third) but The Lord of The Rings is the latest target with the release of the Prime Video series The Rings of Power, which features people of color in Middle-Earth and – shocker of shockers – features Galadriel (Morfydd Clark) and other female characters in prominent roles. Tolkien “purists” are up in arms at what is an apparent affront to J.R.R. Tolkien’s writing and is something we should all be very, very angry about as well. As someone who has read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings multiple times throughout my lifetime dating back to elementary school, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t a “true fan,” because I’m actually enjoying the show.

In fact, I’ve been a massive fan of The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Marvel for more than three decades, and I’m pretty happy with the fact that we’re getting new stories in these universes – even if some of them don’t necessarily land with me. Maybe I’m just a shill. Or maybe – and hear me out on this – it’s healthier to find enjoyment in these things than to look for reasons to fly off the handle online. If your chief concerns in life are that She-Hulk twerks, there are Black elves in Middle-Earth or that there are powerful women and LGBTQ+ people in a galaxy far, far, away, then it might be time to log off and get better acquainted with the world and the diverse, wonderful people who live in it. And maybe learn to twerk a bit yourself. It might make you feel better.

‘The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies’ Reviewed

Remember how, in middle school, you used double-spacing and wider margins to stretch out your five-paragraph book report to the required three pages, thinking you were fooling your teacher? That’s pretty much what Peter Jackson has done — albeit on a far grander scale — in his Hobbit trilogy.

 The third film in this bloated adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien’s beloved children’s story picks up where The Desolation of Smaug left off, with the iconic fire drake laying waste to Lake-town and Bard the Bowman (Luke Evans) saving the day. But the dragon’s defeat only creates more problems for Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman) and the company of Thorin Oakenshield (Richard Armitage), as the titular armies converge on the Lonely Mountain for a massive showdown full of orcs, humans, elves, dwarves, trolls and a wide array of CGI beasts.

Since so much of the Hobbit story has already been told in the previous films — along with a whole lot of additional material added by Jackson to pad out the running time — there’s not much to this final film aside from large-scale battle sequences, but the moments that aren’t focused on fighting are largely forgettable. We see Thorin suffer from “dragon sickness” as the gold hoards within Erebor poison his mind, we see the White Council rescue Gandalf (Sir Ian McKellan) from Dol Guldur and we get more of the superfluous interspecies love story between Kili (Aidan Turner) and Tauriel (Evangeline Lilly). There’s also an abundance of scenes featuring a character named Alfrid Lickspittle (Ryan Gage), who’s just the worst ever.

The Battle of the Five Armies is a far more satisfying experience than the meandering Desolation of Smaug, but Jackson’s presumably final jaunt in Middle-earth too often feels like a video game cutscene. The battles lack the weight of those in the Lord of the Rings trilogy and are, unfortunately, lengthy to the point of exhaustion. Still, at a relatively brisk 144 minutes, it’s the most entertaining film in the trilogy.

 As much as I loved the original Lord of the Rings films — I still have the light-up Burger King goblets to prove it — I can’t help but feel that there was a superior adaptation of The Hobbit in the works before someone got the idea that a three-hundred page children’s book needed to be a three-film, eight-hour war epic. I’d much rather see that movie.

How Are You Celebrating 'Hobbit Day'?

If you’re a hardcore J.R.R. Tolkien geek, you might be aware that Sept. 22 is kind of a big deal. It’s the day in which Frodo and Bilbo Baggins celebrate their birthday, an event that kicks off the Lord of the Rings trilogy in both the original text and Peter Jackson’s films.

So how will you mark the occasion? You might want to start a Lord of the Rings movie marathon, or maybe you’ll re-read the epic story in its entirety, beginning with The Hobbit. You could even kick back all day and partake in some Longbottom Leaf passages of The Silmarillion.

Yet, perhaps the purest way to honor the spirit of The Lord of the Rings today is to embark on an unexpected journey, whatever that may be. Because as Tolkien himself wrote, “Still round the corner there may wait, a new road or a secret gate.”

Three Reasons to Love ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’

 It shouldn’t be all that much of a surprise that, yes, I really enjoyed the first film in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy. But rather than bore you with a long-winded and hyperbolic explanation as to why An Unexpected Journey is worth your cash this holiday season, here are three reasons why you geeks out there should see it in theaters, whether in 3D, 48 FPS or otherwise.

1)  Martin Freeman is a perfect Bilbo Baggins
Before The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, I admittedly knew very little about the work of Martin Freeman, save for his starring role in the middling 2005 film adaptation of Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Now that I’ve seen him as Bilbo Baggins, I can’t picture anyone else playing the overly cautious son of Belladonna Took. He captures Bilbo’s polite outrage incredibly well at the beginning of the film as the dwarves invade his pantry, and his transformation to unlikely action hero during the film’s climax is pretty convincing (even if it is a bit abrupt). On top of all that, Freeman even looks at times like a young Ian Holm, who plays the older Bilbo in the Lord of the Rings films and the prologue to An Unexpected Journey.

2) The Riddle Game sequence lives up to expectations
The entire Lord of the Rings saga hinges on Bilbo’s discovery of The One Ring and the ensuing Riddle Game with its previous bearer, Gollum, so it’s only appropriate that the fifth chapter of The Hobbit is among Tolkienites’ favorite pieces of the lore. Fortunately, Peter Jackson is one such Tolkienite, and made Bilbo’s tense battle of wits as creepy in this film as we all imagined it would be. Kudos to the Weta Team (and returning actor Andy Serkis) for reminding us why Gollum is one of modern cinema’s finest digital creations.

3)  The Hobbit films are better Lord of the Rings prequels than the book
This isn’t a knock on J.R.R. Tolkien’s 1937 novel, but the original children’s story was never really intended to be a prelude to the far more epic story that would be its sequel, The Lord of the Rings. In fact, the author went back and rewrote portions of the book’s fifth chapter “Riddles in the Dark” (which features the aforementioned Riddle Game), to better match up with the The Lord of the Rings, and Tolkien allegedly intended at one point to rewrite The Hobbit entirely as a more serious story to supplement Bilbo’s more childish retelling of his Lonely Mountain adventure.

Since that never happened, Jackson was tasked with making The Hobbit “fit” with the mythology established in the previous films. As a result, many of the darker elements of the story are tied more directly to the imminent return of Sauron, and portions of Middle Earth’s history are culled from Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings appendices and supplemental writings. Making the story feel “bigger” not only serves to connect The Hobbit with The Lord of the Rings (which benefits fans), but also allows the story to be spread over three films (which benefits the studios).

So, there you have it! If you disagree with any of the points made here, let me know on Twitter by following me @JamesWortman.

Stephen Colbert Talks Tolkien with ‘Hobbit’ Director Peter Jackson

Most geeks are feverishly anticipating the Friday release of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, including Comedy Central political satirist Stephen Colbert. On the Dec. 6 edition of The Colbert Report, Colbert — who has already seen the first installment of the Hobbit trilogy — had a geekified discussion with Jackson about all things J.R.R. Tolkien, including the author’s retconning of certain events in his 1937 children’s fantasy novel The Hobbit after the completion of The Lord of the Rings and the author’s abandoned plans to rewrite The Hobbit entirely.

Check out the video below, and be sure to pre-order your tickets before The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey hits theaters this weekend.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Pundit: Or Colbert and Back Again - Hobbit Week Night Four
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Peter Jackson’s ‘The Hobbit’ to be Split into Trilogy

 I know I’m probably the last person to comment on this, but I’ve just learned that Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit has gone from a two-part Lord of the Rings prequel to a full-on trilogy. I can’t say I’m surprised by this news – there’s money to be made in telling the story across three films – but I’m also concerned that the “unexpected journey” of Bilbo and his dwarven buddies just isn’t robust enough for a trilogy on the scale of The Lord of the Rings.

Jackson broke this news on his official Facebook page on Monday, confirming speculation that Warner Bros. and MGM were interested in a Hobbit trilogy. Quoting J.R.R. Tolkien himself, Jackson noted that The Hobbit is “a tale that grew in the telling.” Let’s hope it grew for the right reasons.