Celluloid Snake?

Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's take a cinematic video game series like...oh, I don't know...Metal Gear Solid, take the interactivity out of it, and cut an 8 hour storyline into about an hour and a half. And see if Michael Bay is available, he's good at explosions!

Oops, looks like Sony Pictures stole my surefire million dollar idea by announcing a live-action movie version of Metal Gear Solid. This is an interesting bit of news, seeing as how there's been speculation as to whether Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, will be multiplatform or a Playstation 3 exclusive. If this deal works out between Sony and Konami, none of us will be able rack up those Xbox Live achievements with our old pal Solid Snake. Ah well, we'll all be able to see the movie, right? And we all know that video game movies are guaranteed blockbusters, right?

In case you can't detect my sarcasm there, blogosphere, this is horrible news. First off, as a rule, video game movies are always...ALWAYS bastardized versions of the source material. Take a look at Super Mario Bros., Resident Evil, Doom and the list goes on. The other reason a Metal Gear movie just doesn't make sense is that the games are pretty much movies already. Sure, there's a lot of gameplay mixed in there, but the games are laid out like interactive action films with some stylish visuals during the extensive cinematics. What's the point of making a movie if all it does is dilute the premise?

The linked article also mentions a World of Warcraft film being in the works over at Warner Bros. Wow, a rich fantasy world inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien.... what a brilliant and original idea. Think that'd work on-screen? Idiots.