Wild Blue Yonder

Let me get my hyperbolic fanboy raving out of the way: Avatar is a groundbreaking technological achievement. Heralded as a cinematic game-changer that would forever transform the way we look at movies, James Cameron’s highly anticipated 3D sci-fi epic had a lot to live up to. Predictable storyline aside—if you’ve seen the trailer, you know exactly what happens—Avatar is satisfying in ways most big-budget blockbusters simply aren’t. Yes, Cameron places a heavy emphasis on visual effects wizardry. But those visual effects tell the story; they don’t replace it.

The Rodent Problem

While I’d hoped to see Avatar on its release weekend, weather and holiday-related scheduling conflicts prevented me and my friends from getting to the theater until Sunday, December 27. The place? City Center 15: Cinema De Lux in White Plains, New York. The time? 8:15 P.M. Beverage of choice? Diet Coke. It was on. Or was it?

Even though the movie had been out for more than a week, this screening was sold out, and my friends and I had to sit fairly close to the front of the theater when we got to our seats a few minutes before show time. We sat through the trailers as the remaining seats were claimed by grateful latecomers. But something didn’t seem right. The family-friendly coming attractions didn’t seem at all tailored to the type of audience Avatar would attract. We sat through an advert for a terrible babysitting comedy starring Jackie Chan. Another for a movie in which Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson becomes the Tooth Fairy called, you guessed it, Tooth Fairy. Then came the Twentieth Century Fox logo, while three prepubescent rodents started singing “You Really Got Me.”
No.

We were watching Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. We were in the right theater, but whoever was running the projector screwed up big time. An angry mob of movie nerds wearing oversized 3D glasses leapt from their seats demanding blood, or, at the very least, that someone fix the problem. We didn’t pay $15 to get jerked around while anthropomorphic chipmunk shenanigans played out on screen. Fortunately, the problem was fixed in a timely manner. We all put on our 3D glasses and began our journey to Pandora.

And what a journey it was.

The Movie

Avatar takes place in the year 2154, when a corporation called RDA has set up camp on Pandora, a moon of a planet called Polyphemus. On Pandora is a mineral called unobtainium, which is highly sought after by the corporation and its slimy administrator, Parker Selfridge (Giovanni Ribisi). Standing in the way of RDA’s ravishing of Pandora’s landscape are the Na’vi, the moon’s nine-foot-tall, blue-skinned inhabitants.
To interact with the natives in the hope of learning from them and ultimately earning their trust, the corporation has created human-Na’vi hybrids called avatars, which are remotely operated from a laboratory. Each of the avatars is genetically matched to a human driver, but when one of the drivers is killed, his twin brother Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is called in to take his place. Jake, a former marine, is wheelchair-bound, lacking his brother’s PhD and formal training. Dr. Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver), head of RDA’s avatar program, has her doubts about this newly enlisted jarhead. But because avatars require a genetic match, she has little choice but to accept Jake into the program to serve as a bodyguard on an exploratory mission into the lush jungles of Pandora.

Linked up to his nine-foot-tall blue body, Jake relishes the ability to once again use his legs while exploring Pandora, but he soon runs afoul of some of the native wildlife and is separated from his group. He is rescued by a female Na’vi named Neytiri (Zoë Saldaña) who, after initial trepidation, brings Jake back to her tribe, where she is instructed to teach him the ways of their people.
Grace views Jake’s acceptance into Neytiri’s tribe, the Omaticaya, as a fantastic learning opportunity. However, Colonel Miles Quaritch (Stephen Lang), head of RDA’s mercenary security force, sees things differently. If Jake can use his newfound influence to feed him military intelligence on the Na’vi and convince them to leave their so-called Hometree—which sits atop a massive deposit of unobtainium—then he’ll make sure to pull the strings necessary to get him his legs back. If the Na’vi can’t be convinced to move, the site will be bulldozed regardless.

So, with Neytiri’s help, Jake begins immersing himself in Na’vi culture, keeping in mind the infiltrative goal of his mission. But as he ascends the social ladder of the Omaticaya—and begins falling for Neytiri—life with the Na’vi becomes far more attractive than his relatively constrictive life as a human. When the corporation grows impatient and begins its assault on Hometree, Jake must make a choice: is he human or Na’vi? You already know the answer.

I should say at this point that Avatar might be seen as a bit heavy handed in its left-leaning political commentary and military demonization, but those same criticisms could be leveled at the original Star Wars. In fact, the similarities between George Lucas’ space opera and Cameron’s burgeoning sci-fi franchise (you know there will be sequels) are numerous: both are simplistic modern myths showcasing revolutionary visual effects for their respective time periods, and both have been criticized for being shallow by those who’ve missed the point entirely.
Yes, from a story perspective, Avatar is nothing new, but the familiar narrative hardly detracts from the overall experience. This film is all about falling in love with Pandora: its strange creatures, its exotic bio-luminescent plant life and its dreamlike, otherworldly beauty. The 3D technology—because that is the only way to see this movie—makes Pandora tangible, and the stunning motion-capture effects courtesy of Weta Digital make the Na’vi just as compelling as any flesh-and-blood actor. You never feel like you’re watching special effects, even though you’re immersed in them for the majority of this film’s 162-minute running time. The best visual effects are the ones that draw attention to what they bring to life: not how expensive they look.

As far as performances go, I must say I was pleasantly surprised by Worthington. He didn’t exactly blow my mind in Terminator Salvation earlier this year, and I can’t say I necessarily looked forward to him carrying yet another multi-million dollar blockbuster. But Worthington is quite good as Jake, both as a pained, paraplegic human and a cunning warrior in his avatar form. He has genuine chemistry with Saldaña, who remains absolutely stunning even underneath all of that digital makeup. Not that I have a thing for nine-foot-tall blue cat aliens or anything.

The Final Word

At this point, it’s unclear whether or not Avatar will go down as the movie milestone Cameron has purported it to be, but is it one of the best movies of 2009? Absolutely. This is escapist cinema at its finest.

Journeying Through Zombieland

In spite of pop culture’s ongoing obsession with vampires, spurred by Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books and accompanying feature films, zombies (the other undead) haven’t lurched out of the limelight just yet. While not the first zombie comedy—the 1980s Return of the Living Dead films and Shaun of the Dead immediately spring to mind—Zombieland is an uproariously funny and relentlessly gory trek through post-apocalyptic, zombie-ridden America.

The main character is Columbus, played by Jesse Eisenberg doing his best Michael Cera impression (these two are going to be fighting over the same roles for years). Serving as the narrator, Columbus explains that his neurotic tendencies have been key to his survival, inspiring him to come up with a list of rules to avoid falling victim to the undead. His rules include traveling light, “double tapping” seemingly incapacitating zombies (always shoot them twice) and to beware of public bathrooms. Anyone who’s read Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide is sure to get a kick out of these zombie survival rules, which crop up humorously throughout the film.

Columbus (everyone is nicknamed after their hometown) crosses paths with Tallahassee, a Twinkie-loving badass zombie killer played by Woody Harrelson. Harrelson seems to be enjoying himself whenever he’s onscreen, and his chemistry with Eisenberg provides much of the film’s comedy that isn’t derived from creatively massacring—or running from—the living dead. The pair soon stumbles upon con-artist sisters Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin), who round out this film’s makeshift and eventually somewhat functional family unit. Once they all learn to get along, the group heads west to Pacific Playland, an amusement park that’s rumored to be zombie-free. If you’ve ever seen a zombie movie before, you already know those rumors are complete bull.

As if director Ruben Fleischer’s genre mash-up wasn’t awesome enough—finding a tremendous balance between horror and comedy—a brilliant cameo toward the end of the film sends Zombieland right over the edge. I won’t spoil the surprise here, but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a movie in recent years.

With franchise written all over it (likely smeared in blood), Zombieland is an instant comedy classic.

The Dark Knight Triumphant

Despite multiple successes in comic books, television and film, Batman has just never really been able to make that pivotal leap to video games. However, developer Rocksteady Studios clearly set out to change all that with Batman: Arkham Asylum, a third-person action title that not only manages to far surpass every comic-based video game ever released, but might be among the most satisfying gaming experiences in recent years.

The game begins with Batman hauling the Joker to Arkham Asylum, a decrepit nightmare of an institution that houses all of Batman’s worst foes. The Caped Crusader notices fairly early that it seems as though the Joker actually wanted to get caught and, as is almost always the case, Batman’s right. With the help of his gal pal Harley Quinn, Joker breaks loose and takes control the asylum with his arch-nemesis locked inside. As the Dark Knight, it’s your job to foil the Joker’s latest plot, facing off against iconic Batman villains such as Bane, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy and Scarecrow along the way.

While the story is pretty simplistic overall, writer Paul Dini (Batman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics) keeps things fresh throughout, and the superb voice cast—which includes animated series veterans Kevin Conroy, Mark Hamill and Arleen Sorkin as Batman, Joker and Harley Quinn respectively—makes the experience all the more cinematic. As a Batman story, it’s not quite as good as Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight, but it often comes close.

But that narrative attention to detail would be for naught if Arkham Asylum wasn’t fun to play and, fortunately, this game is about the closest you can get to a Batman simulator without putting on a cape and scaring the neighbors. Most of the game’s fast-paced battles pit Batman against large groups of baddies at a time, but the game’s free-flowing combo system makes taking down goons a breeze and a whole lot of fun to watch. It’s amazing how varied Batman’s ass-kicking repertoire is considering that the combat essentially relies only on an attack button and a counter button. It’s a real testament to the animation work.

When Batman’s not cracking skulls, he’s skulking around in the shadows to dispatch thugs one by one. At certain points in the game, you’ll come across gun-toting henchmen that require the stealthy approach, which can include sneaking up on them, stringing them up from gargoyles or swooping down on top of them from the rafters. By utilizing the X-ray vision-like Detective Mode—which can also be used to track down clues and solve puzzles—Batman can identify which goons are packing heat and can even see how nervous they are by monitoring their heart rate.

Batman’s also aided in his adventure by a plethora of Bat-gadgets—including line launchers, grappling hooks, explosives and the always-cool batarangs—to help him beat down bad guys and explore every corner and crevice of the island. Sure, each of these devices serves a purpose in the gameplay, but they also help you feel like you really are Batman. And that level of immersion is important.

Production values are top notch, with detailed character models and creepy environments reminiscent of BioShock, another phenomenal title in which atmosphere plays a critical role. Complementing the graphics are some pretty impressive in-game physics. You may find yourself slipping up during combat as you admire the fluid movement of Batman’s cape.

It has flaws, including some lackluster boss battles and simplistic puzzles, but there’s no reason for an Xbox 360 or PlayStation 3 owner not to pick up Arkham Asylum. Even without the Batman license, this is a well-constructed action game that offers up a ton of gameplay variety with polished visuals and a great story. It even provides plenty of reasons to keep playing long after the story is complete. The Riddler has scattered puzzles and challenges all over Arkham for you to solve, while you can compete for online high scores through the game’s Challenge Maps.

Arkham Asylum is a dark and refreshingly mature take on the Batman mythos that one hopes signals a new beginning for superhero video games. Whether or not you’re a Batman fanatic, this is some of the most fun you’ll have on a console this year.

Tarantino Is Back With a Vengeance

Wow. Not only is Inglourious Basterds one of the best movies of the year, but it’s easily Quentin Tarantino’s most satisfying film since Pulp Fiction. As expected, this is a gritty and often brutally violent revisionist take on World War II. But, fortunately, its poignancy isn’t just measured in buckets of blood.

The most common criticism of Tarantino’s work is that his characters are excessively talkative, often at the expense of narrative momentum. This pacing issue was most apparent in 2007’s Death Proof, the second half of Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s Grindhouse double feature. While the film was meant to pay homage to exploitation films of the Russ Meyer variety, far too much of its running time is spent lingering on the meandering conversations of its female protagonists. Brilliant writing in Tarantino’s previous work had cemented him as one of the top American filmmakers of the 1990s, but those chatty sequences are boring more often than not, and the film suffers as a result.

Flash forward two years and, yes, Inglourious Basterds—with an intentionally misspelled title paying homage to 1978 Italian war film, The Inglorious Bastards—is still loaded with long, protracted conversations. The film opens with a slimy German SS officer, Colonel Hans “Jew Hunter” Landa (Christoph Waltz), interrogating a French dairy farmer suspected of harboring a Jewish family. The scene is drawn out, and painfully so. But it’s through this lengthy interrogation that Tarantino ramps up the tension until the inevitable, violent payoff. There’s a ton of dialogue throughout this film—much of which is subtitled—but it’s seldom pointless.

Speaking of Landa, he’s easily one of the most memorable and despicable villains in screen history. This is a guy who truly enjoys watching people squirm, smiling all the while. Waltz’s unsettling performance is simply incredible throughout, and we’ll hopefully be hearing more about him once Oscar season rolls around.

But what of the film’s titular Basterds? Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) leads a band of Jewish-American soldiers assembled to spread fear among the Nazi ranks by brutally murdering and scalping German soldiers. Put simply, they’re in the business of killing Nazis and, as Aldo explains, “business is a-boomin’.” Watching these characters get sweet revenge is a lot of fun, particularly when the so-called “Bear Jew,” Sergeant Donnie Donowitz (Eli Roth), goes to town on one Nazi soldier with a baseball bat. The film could have been all about Aldo and the Basterds running around the French countryside slaughtering Nazis and most filmgoers would probably be satisfied at a base level.

However, in typical Tarantino fashion, Inglourious Basterds juggles storylines. The film also follows Shosanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent), a young Jewish woman who survives her family’s execution at Landa’s hand. Years later, she runs a small theater in Paris. There, she catches the eye of a German war hero, Fredrick Zoller (Daniel Brühl), the subject of Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels’ (Sylvester Groth) latest film. He convinces Goebbels to hold the film premiere—which will assemble all the top brass in the Third Reich, including Adolf Hitler—at Shosanna’s theater.

Shosanna and her lover Marcel (Jacky Ido) have an idea: during the premiere, they’re going to lock the audience in the theater and burn it to the ground. Shosanna’s plan mirrors that of the Basterds, who team with a German actress and undercover agent Bridget von Hammersmark (Diane Kruger) to infiltrate the premiere, destroy the theater and end the war. These storylines converge in a visceral finale that will likely have you talking long after the credits roll.

While Waltz is the standout performance in Inglourious Basterds, Pitt delivers as well. Tarantino’s dark comedy really suits this leading man, and I’d love to see Aldo revisited in a future film. Watching the native Tennessean wrestle with an Italian accent in front of Landa is a lot funnier than it probably should have been. Bravo.

After carving a swastika into a Nazi officer’s forehead at the end of the film, Aldo admires his work, saying “I think this just might be my masterpiece.” That last line in the script is clearly Tarantino patting himself on the back for a job well done, but he may be right. Inglourious Basterds is a solid, entertaining and often gut-wrenching piece of cinema.

Crossing the Streams With Ghostbusters: The Video Game (Xbox 360)

It came, it saw, it kicked our ass!

If you grew up with the Ghostbusters films, chances are you’ve already rushed out and purchased Ghostbusters: The Video Game to live out your childhood fantasies of strapping on a proton pack, hopping in the Ecto-1 and ridding Manhattan of pesky poltergeists. However, if you’re a skeptical ectoplasm aficionado who’s been burned far too often by movie adaptations in the past, you’ll be happy to learn that Terminal Reality’s Ghostbusters, while not a perfect game, captures the charm of the 1984 film (and its lesser but underrated sequel) and is a blast to play.

Part of what makes this game so enjoyable is that it’s essentially a third Ghostbusters film. Written by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis—who join Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson to voice their respective paranormal investigators—the story is set two years after Ghostbusters II. You play as a rookie hired to test out Egon’s experimental equipment. Humorously and sensibly, your character is never given an actual name. Since you’re handling such dangerous gear, the guys reason that there’s really no point in getting too attached by learning your name. “Rookie” it is.

You might be disappointed that you never get to play as Peter Venkman (Murray), Ray Stantz (Aykroyd), Egon Spengler (Ramis) or Winston Zeddemore (Hudson) in the single-player mode, but it’s fun sitting back from an outside perspective and watching these iconic characters bounce off each other in some of the funniest dialogue you’re likely to find in a video game. Annie Potts returns as receptionist Janine Melnitz, retaining her sardonic wit, while William Atherton returns as reviled bureaucrat Walter Peck, who apparently still has no dick. (Well, that’s what I heard!) Alyssa Milano steps in for Sigourney Weaver’s Dana Barrett as Dr. Ilyssa Selwyn, the focal point of the story and Peter’s love interest. If you’re not happy with Dr. Venkman getting over Dana so quickly, back off, man. He’s a scientist.

At the beginning of the game, Ray gives you some pointers on how to use your proton stream but, in your excitement, you accidentally unleash Slimer from the containment unit. He returns to his old haunt, the Sedgewick Hotel, and it’s up to you and the boys to re-capture the ugly little spud while causing a copious amount of collateral damage. Accidentally, of course.

Sound familiar? It should. The early sections of the game spend a lot of time rehashing characters and locations from the original movie. In the first few levels, you’ll face off against the gluttonous Slimer, the monstrous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (now with creepy little marshmallow minions) and the New York Public Library’s Gray Lady. Things get a lot more interesting storywise once the game begins exploring new territory—including a jaunt through an alternate dimension—but I doubt any Ghostbusters fan will truly protest wrangling Slimer in the Sedgewick ballroom or reducing Mr. Stay Puft to sugary goop. Love for the films is what made you purchase this game in the first place; Terminal Reality is merely indulging you.

However, 1980s nostalgia would be pretty worthless if the game wasn’t fun to play. Controlling similarly to the Gears of War series, Ghostbusters is a third-person shooter with a twist. There are ghosts that can be vanquished simply by blasting them with your proton stream—or one of three upgradeable weapons on your proton pack—but a lot of the combat requires you to weaken, lasso and trap your opponents. This rhythmic gameplay component certainly had the potential to be repetitive, but it’s actually incredibly satisfying.

My favorite proton pack add-on is the slime blower, which is a slightly modified version of the one seen in Ghostbusters II. In addition to the standard hose, the blower has a “slime tether” function that allows you to solve puzzles and play around with the game’s impressive Infernal Engine physics.

Does it have flaws? Sure. Some of the voice acting is a bit forced, and, while this isn’t necessarily a hard game for seasoned vets, the difficulty ramps up at odd times and it becomes frustrating. That said, it’s eight hours of mostly solid gameplay that hardcore fans will want to revisit more than once. After finishing the single-player mode, a variety of multiplayer options will keep you coming back long after you help the boys once again save New York from total annihilation.

Ghostbusters could have easily been a run-of-the-mill movie cash-in title, but there’s a lot of love in this game. Terminal Reality clearly intended to craft a unique Ghostbusters experience and they’ve certainly succeeded. From the nuanced combat to the clever integration of gadgets such as the PKE meter to the chuckle-worthy dialogue, this is a game by and for the fans.

Bustin’ will make you feel good.

Relapse: A Wort Report Review

After nearly five years of semi-retirement, Eminem is back with a vengeance. His new album, Relapse, is a welcome return to form for the controversial rapper after sounding decidedly bored with his Slim Shady schtick on 2004’s Encore.

Fueled by horrorcore influence and backed by head-bobbing Dr. Dre beats, Em does a lot of venting on the album’s 15 songs (plus five skits) about his life-threatening addiction to prescription pills and other personal demons that have kept him out of the spotlight for the last few years.

While his ex-wife Kim is spared from a lyrical lashing this time around, Em goes after his mother fairly early with “My Mom,” on which he places the blame for his drug addiction squarely on her shoulders. In the next track, “Insane,” Em accuses his step dad of molesting him as a child. He starts it off saying, “I was born with a dick in my brain/Yeah fucked in the head/My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed.” Wow.

That line between disturbing fact and even more disturbing fiction is often blurred in Relapse, which is likely completely intentional. In the opening song, “3 A.M.,” he recalls wrapping up his cousin in Christmas lights, throwing him in a bathtub, chopping him up and proceeding to drink his bloody bathwater. There’s an autobiographical element to this album, to be sure, but the layer of fictionalized serial killer brutality in his lyrics recalls a hip-hop version of Heath Ledger’s Joker from The Dark Knight (and, yes, the late Ledger and the circumstances of his death are brought up more than once in Relapse). This is twisted stuff, but we’re nevertheless intrigued.

In the album’s more introspective songs—namely “Déjà Vu,” in which he poetically recounts how his drug addiction impacted his relationship with his daughter Hailie—Em’s inner turmoil is far more tangible as he turns his trademark rage on himself in ways unseen since his 2000 sophomore album, The Marshall Mathers LP.

He gets particularly emotional in the self-produced and stripped-down “Beautiful,” which is a weirdly touching and borderline inspiring break from Em's usually violent, homophobic and misogynistic lyrical content.

Does Relapse ever go too far? Absolutely. Em spends too much time on this disc indulging in chilling, over-the-top rape and murder fantasies without the necessary South Park-esque satirical wink. It should be dark comedy, but often it’s just dark.

Em also takes aim at the late Christopher Reeve in “Medicine Ball,” which at this point is not only unfunny but played out. Em shrugs off such criticism, rapping, “Now everybody is pissed at me like it’s my fault/His name rhymes with so many words. Geez!” He then takes the role of the late Superman actor and allows Reeve to have the last word before challenging Em to a breakdancing contest.

While the bulk of the album is solid, lead-off singles “Crack a Bottle” and “We Made You” just aren’t very good and don't seem to fit with the rest of the album's material, particularly the latter. Yes, it's another goofy celebrity diss, but it's never a good sign when many your targets (Amy Winehouse, Sarah Palin) bowed out of the public eye months before the album's release.

It offends, sure. But that’s the point. Relapse isn’t Em’s best album, but his jaw-dropping, head-turning and at times stomach-churning rhymes are oddly refreshing in the artistically stagnating world of mainstream hip-hop.

Fanboys: A Wort Report Review

While it may not be the most joyous anniversary for some hardcore Star Wars fans, The Phantom Menace hit theaters 10 years ago today on May 19, 1999. To commemorate the infamous occasion, the Star Wars-centric comedy Fanboys hits DVD after a brief stint in select cities earlier this year.

Directed by Kyle Newman and starring Sam Huntington, Chris Marquette, Dan Fogler, Jay Baruchel and Kristen Bell, Fanboys is billed as a love letter to the film saga and its fans and in many ways it succeeds at that. At its best, this film is a decent road comedy peppered with Star Wars references that taps into the communal power of fandom. However, non-fanboys need not apply. These aren't the laughs you're looking for.

Set in 1998, Fanboys follows a group of Star Wars geeks on a cross-country journey to Star Wars creator George Lucas’ Skywalker Ranch to catch an early glimpse at a work print of the highly anticipated (and later widely reviled) prequel film. One of the characters, Linus (Marquette), is dying of cancer, adding an element of urgency to the whole affair. In all likelihood, he won’t live to see the film premiere.

Fanboys’ cancer subplot was a major point of contention prior to the film’s release, with studio execs fearing that it would cast a shadow over an otherwise fairly lighthearted goofball comedy. Fortunately, the subplot is handled delicately—as cancer is never funny—but it seems unnecessary and cheap. When the fanboys tangle with a group of frothing Trekkies, we should be chuckling. Instead, we’re reminded that one of the characters has just months to live. It just doesn't feel right for this kind of comedy, and makes the entire film tonally uneven.

For Star Wars fans—Fanboys’ one and only audience—there’s a lot of fun to be had. Unfortunately, whenever this film isn’t mining Lucas’ franchise for laughs it’s just a paint-by-numbers, occasionally raunchy comedy. The premise is great, but Newman never delivers on it fully.

That said, the cast does a great job with the material they’re working with and makes the film watchable if not entirely memorable. Fogler (Balls of Fury) is entertaining as the sex-crazed Hutch, while Baruchel (Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder) brings an awkward charm to the bespectacled Windows. Huntington (Detroit Rock City, Superman Returns) and Marquette (Just Friends) give some dramatic weight to the story as two estranged childhood friends, and the adorable Bell (Heroes, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) plays every geek’s dream girl as Zoe. She also shows up at the end of the film in Princess Leia’s metal bikini from Return of the Jedi. Take note, ladies: That’s the way to a fanboy’s heart.

Fanboys isn’t a bad film, but it’s not all that inspired. Rent it, get your geeky friends together, grab some brews and enjoy it for the Star Wars nods, the barrage of cameos and an amusingly accurate depiction of what it was like to be a Star Wars fan in 1998. Just set your expectations low—advice that would have probably been far more useful in the months before Jar Jar Binks reared his orange, floppy-eared head in that spring of 1999.

But then again, I saw The Phantom Menace nine times in theaters that summer, so I'm really not one to rant about how disappointing it was. All I can say is that fanboys work in mysterious, befuddling and sometimes embarrassing ways.

21st Century Breakdown: A Wort Report Review

A follow-up to Green Day’s Grammy-winning, multi-platinum American Idiot (2004), 21st Century Breakdown is yet another grandiose concept album that infuses the trio’s pop-punk sensibilities with classic rock influence and a heavy dose of power balladry. If you liked the politically minded American Idiot, you'll be delighted to know that this spiritual sequel is more of the same. Arguably, it's even better.

21st Century Breakdown is a three-act story revolving around two young characters, Christian and Gloria, who are finding their way in post-9/11 America and contending with war, poverty and misguided leadership. They’re hurt, confused and, in keeping with Green Day’s punk rock origins, they’re pissed off. Never is this more apparent than in the song “Horseshoes and Handgrenades,” when frontman Billie Joe Armstrong screams, “I’m not fucking around!” We believe him.

But 21st Century Breakdown isn’t all cynical rage and despair. Among its 18 tracks are some of Green Day’s best tunes, including the infectious “Know Your Enemy,” the epic “¡Viva La Gloria!” and the haunting “21 Guns,” on which Armstrong displays an impressive vocal range. While there are plenty of great standalone songs on this album, it’s best enjoyed as a beginning-to-end experience. It’s refreshing that Green Day is championing concept albums in the iPod age. We need more of these.

They’ve matured a great deal since their 1994 breakout album Dookie, but Armstrong, drummer Tré Cool and bassist Mike Dirnt have never been more relevant or more ambitious. With American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown, Green Day has successfully made the transition from bratty pop-punkers to larger-than-life, socially conscious stadium rockers. And they’re only improving with age.

21st Century Breakdown is an operatic, fist-pumping triumph.

The Soloist: A Wort Report Review

Based on the real-life relationship between Los Angeles Times columnist Steve Lopez (Oscar nominee Robert Downey Jr.) and homeless musical prodigy Nathaniel Ayers (Oscar winner Jamie Foxx), The Soloist makes every effort to tug at the audience’s heartstrings with some solid performances by its two leading men and a wrenching examination of the link between homelessness and mental illness. It has all of the proper ingredients of an Oscar contender, but its unfocused narrative and inconsistent tone make the entire affair unnerving, overwrought and ultimately disappointing.

Stumped trying to think of new ideas for his column, Lopez comes across Ayers out on the streets of Los Angeles, aptly playing a violin that has just two strings. Lopez is intrigued and, upon learning that Ayers was once a cello student at Juilliard, he writes a story about him. A reader is so moved by the story that she sends Lopez her cello to give to Ayers. Lopez then hooks Ayers up with a local homeless shelter in an apparent attempt to salvage him and share his musical talent with the world.

This may sound like an uplifting story, but The Soloist—directed by Joe Wright (Pride & Prejudice) with a screenplay by Susannah Grant (Erin Brockovich)—is a complete downer. Lopez is driven to help Ayers both out of compassion and an apparent need to prove to himself and others that he is not exploiting the schizophrenic musician. However, Lopez soon learns that some people can’t—and won’t—be helped as his relationship with Ayers takes some disturbing turns later in the film.

Downey is great as the frenzied, downtrodden writer while Foxx makes his character’s mental illness believable without devolving into caricature. However, it never seems as though Lopez’s interest in Ayers extends all that far beyond subject matter for his column. Lopez helps Ayers out, sure, but with every generous act comes new material for him to mine, a point that is even brought up (and never fully resolved) by his editor/ex-wife, Mary Weston (Oscar nominee Catherine Keener). Downey and Foxx try to make the relationship work through their natural chemistry with one another, but the script just doesn’t articulate their mutual affection very well.

Despite solid performances and its valiant attempt to tackle social problems—namely our attitudes toward the mentally ill and the homeless—The Soloist never strikes that fine balance between the schmaltzy and the genuinely sentimental. Through Foxx’s performance we feel sorry for Ayers, but the film’s generic flashback sequences showing us early parts of his life give us the impression that we’re being manipulated. There are also odd comedy bits sprinkled throughout, including Lopez’s attempts to use coyote urine to rid his lawn of raccoons. They should provide relief from the film’s serious primary subject matter, but these awkwardly-placed attempts at humor come off as misfires.

The Soloist isn’t a bad film, but it never lives up to the potential of its story nor does it do Downey and Foxx’s performances justice. It's a flawed symphony that hits far too many sour notes.

The Soloist (2009)
Director: Joe Wright
Writer(s): Susannah Grant (Screenplay) Steve Lopez (Book)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Jamie Foxx, Catherine Keener
Release Date: April 24, 2009
Rated: PG-13

Friday the 13th: A Wort Report Review

I finally got a chance to check out Platinum Dunes’ Friday the 13th remake, and I have to say I was pretty impressed. This glossy franchise reboot ups the gore factor as our favorite hockey-masked malcontent Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears) stalks a bunch of douchey college kids ripped straight out of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog. It’s horribly acted, totally predictable and never allows you to actually care about the people being slaughtered. And you know what? That’s okay. If anything, that just shows director Marcus Nispel’s dedication to the source material. Friday the 13th films have always been schlock—reverting to self-satire by around the fifth sequel or so—and this update never strays far from the proven slasher formula.

Friday the 13th is essentially a retelling of the first few films in the original series. As horror aficionados or trivia buffs may know, Jason’s mom Pamela Voorhees was the killer in the original film, while Jason did not don his iconic mask until the third installment. While this reboot retells Jason’s origin story, rest assured: Jason gets his hockey mask pretty early on.

The film begins in 1980 with a young Jason witnessing his mother being beheaded by a camp counselor, thus ending her bloody rampage at Camp Crystal Lake. The movie then flashes forward to present day, where a bunch of unwitting friends venture into the woods near Camp Crystal Lake in search of weed. The group decides to spend the night, and sex ensues. Jason hates that.

The film’s first group of victims is cut down pretty quickly, reminding audiences that this isn’t one of those snarky, self-aware horror flicks that were so popular in the 1990s (see the Scream films). These characters are friggin’ stupid. If they hear a strange noise, they’re going to investigate it. If one of their friends is missing, they’re going to go looking for them alone. If one of these guys comes across a run-down shack in the woods, he's going to check it out despite his girlfriend’s protests. Palm, meet face. Repeat as necessary.

The second group fares a little better than the first, heading to Crystal Lake to stay at their friend Trent’s (Travis Van Winkle) family’s summer cabin. Because he’s the “rich kid” in a slasher movie, he’s a complete and total tool who might as well have a target painted on his torso. He’s also got a girlfriend, Jenna (Danielle Panabaker), who he’s totally going to cheat on in the third act. That’s okay, because Jenna’s kind of into Clay (Jared Padalecki), the film’s resident all-around good guy who’s looking for his sister, Whitney (Amanda Righetti), who disappeared with the first group of victims and is presumed dead.

Of course, do we really care who these people are? No, and this film, for better or for worse, makes no real effort to let us like them. With the exception of dweeby stoner Chewie, played by Aaron Yoo (21, Disturbia, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist), we’re pretty much rooting against these kids whenever Jason unsheathes his machete.

Speaking of machetes, the kills here are pretty creative, and most are incredibly gory. In addition to standard knifing, Jason shows some deadly proficiency with a bow and arrow, a bear trap and even a sleeping bag. Kudos to Nispel and the writing team of Damian Shannon and Mark Swift for keeping this film’s bloodshed creative despite the stale premise.

Jason’s been killed, resurrected, sent to space and has even sparred with Freddy Krueger. And now, he’s been rebooted, the latest in a long line of classic movie characters brought back to the screen by an idea-starved Hollywood. Was this necessary? Absolutely not. But Friday the 13th is a fun 97-minute diversion that does everything it sets out to do, ensuring another incredibly long line of sequels in the coming years. Ch ch ch ch ha ha ha ha.

Friday the 13th (2009)
Director: Marcus Nispel
Writers: Damian Shannon, Mark Swift
Starring: Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker, Amanda Righetti, Travis Van Winkle, Aaron Yoo, Derek Mears

Hands-On with Call of Duty: World at War

Most first-person shooter fans have had their fill of World War II-based games by now, which is probably one of the main reasons why the present-day Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare was so well received last year. When it was announced that Activision’s acclaimed series would be once again returning to its World War II roots with Call of Duty: World at War, many gamers were less-than-enthusiastic. Fans were even more disheartened when they learned that Treyarch—the studio responsible for the middling Call of Duty 3—would be developing this latest installment. Apprehensive fans were likely relieved when World at War hit shelves in November, as the game retains the cinematic flair of the fourth installment, transferring its solid overall gameplay mechanics and breathtaking visuals to a World War II setting.

The game also features battlefields previously unexplored in the series, putting players in the boots of a U.S. Marine fighting against the Japanese Army in the Pacific and a soldier in the Soviet Red Army fighting the Nazis in Berlin. The campaign lasts only a few hours, but top-notch production values—including celebrity voice acting from Kiefer Sutherland and Gary Oldman—keep the experience immersive from start to finish.

World at War does, however, have some troubling combat issues that keep it from being as solid as its predecessor. At even the normal difficulty level, you’ll end up dying not because of genuinely challenging battles but because the game throws a seemingly-endless barrage of unavoidable grenades your way as often as possible. There is an on-screen indicator that warns you when a grenade is nearby—which also gives you the option of tossing it right back at the enemy—but even if you run to a seemingly safe distance from the blast, a grenade is cheap, frustrating, instant death nearly every time. The more it happens, the more it seems like a design flaw.

In addition, World at War's AI is oddly unbalanced. At times, enemies will intelligently take cover and fire at you at opportune moments, but often they will stand right out in the open just waiting to be picked off. Friendly AI doesn’t fare much better, offering little-to-no help during the game’s more intense firefights. While it wouldn’t be satisfying for computer-controlled allies to do all of the work for me, a war game shouldn’t make me feel like I’m fighting alone.

But the strength in a Call of Duty title lies primarily in its multiplayer which, I can safely say, is just as good in World at War as it was in Modern Warfare. You’ll be using World War II-era equipment, weapons and vehicles, but the matchmaking, upgrades, rankings, perks and wide variety of game modes make World at War a satisfying multiplayer experience that should win over fans of its predecessor.

A great extra in World at War, unlocked once you complete the single-player campaign, is Nazi Zombies mode, which pits you against, you guessed it, Nazi zombies. Kudos to Treyarch for including such an off-kilter game mode in an otherwise serious World War II shooter. For a superior zombie experience I recommend Left 4 Dead, but this mode is a lot of fun. Playing it alone or cooperatively, Nazi Zombies should remind most shooter fans of the phenomenal Horde mode in Gears of War 2. Fight of waves of zombies, earn points, repeat.

It’s not a revolutionary game, and in many respects this is Modern Warfare recast in a less-than-modern setting, but is that really such a bad thing? Even if they've grown tired of World War II video games, first-person shooter aficionados owe it to themselves to check this game out.

Publisher: Activision
Developer: Treyarch
Platform: Xbox 360 (reviewed), Playstation 2, Playstation 3, Nintendo DS, Wii, Microsoft Windows
Rating: M
Release Date: November 11, 2008 (North America)

Left 4 Dead: A Wort Report Review

Who would have thought that surviving a zombie apocalypse could be such a great form of stress relief? With multiplayer first-person zombie shooter Left 4 Dead, Valve Corporation (Half-Life, Portal, Team Fortress) encourages gamers to live out their undead-fighting fantasies in what may be the best zombie action game ever made.

If you’re looking for a storyline or character motivation, you certainly won’t find much of either in Left 4 Dead. The game boils down to playing the role of one of four human characters who must fight through hordes of ravenous zombies to make their way from safe house to safe house. There are four scenarios—each framed as a horror movie—taking players through a hospital, a farmhouse, a rural town and an airport. Gameplay-wise, all of the scenarios are basically the same, pitting the survivors against hundreds of undead flesh-eaters. The zombies here bear more resemblance to the fast-moving variety featured in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake than to the lurching, moaning corpses in George A. Romero’s original. Their speed gives Left 4 Dead an element of twitchy panic that keeps gameplay both frantic and fun.

In addition to the overwhelming numbers of "Common Infected" in each of the game’s scenarios, players will also be confronted by mutated "Special Infected," which have their own unique abilities and attacks. Hunters, for example, will pin players to the ground and viciously maul them until one of the other survivors saves them while Smokers lash out at the humans with a whip-like tongue. As one can probably guess by their name, Tanks are hulking beasts that use their immense size and strength to pummel the survivors, requiring players to gang up on them with their most powerful weapons to take them down quickly before they cause too much damage. The Witch, a dangerous female zombie, can take players out with a single swipe of her claws if she is startled. My personal favorite special zombie in Left 4 Dead is easily the Boomer, a fat, bulbous infected that vomits green bile on the survivor characters, the smell of which alerts other zombies to the humans’ location. Dangerous and revolting. What a combination.

It’s possible to play Left 4 Dead solo with three computer-controlled allies, but the real fun of this game is playing online with friends or complete strangers. Few games inspire the level of teamwork necessary to make it through Left 4 Dead’s scenarios alive as a group. Try to abandon your comrades and you’ll probably wind up with more than a few bite marks on your arms and torso. Oh, and you’ll probably be dead. There’s also a Versus mode, which allows players to control special infected against the humans to see how the other half lives.

With only three modes of play (Campaign, Versus and Single Player), one wonders how Left 4 Dead stays interesting, but thanks to the game’s “AI Director,” scenarios are different each time you play them. It’s nearly impossible to predict when a Hunter is going to leap out of nowhere and pin you to the ground, or when a Boomer is going to sneak up on you and lose his lunch right in your face. As if eviscerating zombies could ever possibly get boring, Left 4 Dead is never the same game twice.

Thanks to Dead Rising and the Resident Evil series, there has been no shortage of zombie-blasting goodness in video games for quite some time. However, Left 4 Dead recreates the feeling of being in a zombie film better than just about any game ever released. It’s not deep by any means, but it’s incredible fun and a must-play for fans of cooperative online gaming.

Publisher: Electronic Arts/Valve Corporation
Developer: Valve Corporation/Certain Affinity (Xbox 360 version)
Platform: Xbox 360, Microsoft Windows
Rating: M
Release Date: November 18, 2008

Slumdog Millionaire: A Wort Report Review

Prior to seeing Slumdog Millionaire, I knew almost nothing about it. I had heard that it was directed by Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) and that it somehow revolves around India’s version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, but that’s about it. I was pleasantly surprised that this rags-to-riches underdog story not only has its heart in the right place, but is also incredibly exhilarating, moving along at a breakneck pace without sacrificing its ambitious scope.

Growing up on the streets of Mumbai, Jamal Malik (played as a teenager by Dev Patel) is a contestant on India’s Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and is just one question away from winning 20 million rupees. The only problem is that the show’s host (Anil Kapoor) doesn’t believe that an uneducated, tea-serving “chai wallah” at a Mumbai call center could possibly be able to answer the more difficult questions correctly without cheating. As a result of this suspicion, Jamal is arrested and forced to review each of his correct answers to prove his innocence to the police. With each question, the film flashes back to a point in Jamal’s childhood where we see just how he came to know the answers to the show's questions and, in turn, we learn more and more about Jamal’s tumultuous childhood.

The first section of the film—when Jamal and his older brother Salim (played as children by Ayush Mahesh Khedekar and Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail respectively, and by Tanay Chheda and Ashutosh Lobo Gajiwala when they get a bit older) are orphaned and forced into panhandling—is the most difficult to watch, primarily because it paints the Mumbai slums in such an unsavory light, with Boyle concentrating on making the city’s trash-strewn streets look as uninviting as possible. But there is a ray of hope for young Jamal in a fellow orphan named Latika (played as a child by Rubiana Ali, by Tanvi Ganesh Lonkar when she gets older and by Freida Pinto as a young adult). While Slumdog Millionaire begins as a dark, somber and sometimes horrifying meditation on the hardships of living on the streets of India, it soon becomes a celebration of Jamal’s quest to reunite with Latika, from whom he is constantly separated due to circumstances beyond his control. It’s overtly saccharine even for a love story, but it’s rare that a film of this caliber celebrates life rather than dissecting its lesser points.

Slumdog Millionaire is a film deserving of its near-universal acclaim. If you’ve ever seen a movie about a street urchin who gets a shot at being a millionaire, you probably already know how this one ends. However, in spite of its inherent predictability, Slumdog Millionaire is sentimental without being too sappy and poignant without being pretentious. This is a must-see film.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
Director: Danny Boyle
Writer: Simon Beaufroy
Starring: Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Anil Kapoor, Irrfan Khan
Release Date: November 12, 2008 (limited), December 19, 2008 (wide)

Quantum of Solace: A Wort Report Review

Taking place immediately following 2006’s critically-acclaimed James Bond franchise reboot Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace is a relentlessly fast-paced action film that never truly allows its characters—or members of the audience—to stop for a moment to catch their breath. Having said that, it’s a worthy sequel and one of the better Bond films overall.

Already silencing his most vocal critics with his last outing as 007, Daniel Craig returns to prove that he is, undoubtedly, the best Bond since Sean Connery. He may be the least-refined Bond on film, but Craig’s version of the character bears the closest resemblance to creator Ian Fleming’s “blunt instrument” of the British Secret Service. As in the Fleming novels, Bond makes mistakes in the line of duty, and sometimes has difficulty keeping his assignments from becoming personal. In the original series of 20 films, however, that dynamic became lost as the character too-often devolved into a cartoonish, smirking self-parody. This Bond is brutal, cold-blooded, pissed off and flawed.

And he screws up pretty often in Quantum of Solace, just ask M (Judi Dench), who constantly finds herself berating Bond for leaving a trail of human wreckage as he searches for those at the helm of Quantum, a mysterious worldwide criminal organization. Driven by anger over the death of his lover Vesper Lynd (Eva Green) in the previous film, Bond’s mission leads him to Dominic Greene (Mathieu Amalric), chairman of the ecological organization Greene Planet and prominent member of Quantum. His evil plan—because all Bond villains must have evil plans—is to stage a coup coup d’état in Bolivia and gain control of its water supply. It’s more subtle than nuking Fort Knox or building a diamond-powered orbital space laser, but it works.

Bond is aided this time around by the lovely Camille Montes (Olga Kurylenko)—who, like Bond, is fueled by a personal vendetta—as well as a few other allies both old and new. Unfortunately, because Quantum of Solace is such an action-packed film, we never get as much time with these characters as we’d probably like. Jeffrey Wright once again turns in a slick performance as CIA agent Felix Leiter, and Dench’s M is just as commanding as she’s always been. However, with such an exhausting number of chase sequences and slugfests in Quantum of Solace, there simply isn’t any opportunity for introspection. Perhaps there will be time for all of that in the sequel.

This modern Bond may lack the charm, gadgets and one-liners that once defined the character, but none of those superficial trappings are missed in Craig’s grittier portrayal. Quantum of Solace may be a little too over-loaded with action for its own good, but it’s sure to leave audiences both shaken and stirred.

Quantum of Solace (2008)
Director: Marc Forster
Writer(s): Paul Haggis, Neal Purvis and Robert Wade
Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Judi Dench, Giancarlo Giannini, Gemma Arterton, Jeffrey Wright
Release Date: November 14, 2008
Rated: PG-13
Official Site: 007.com

Gears of War 2: Bigger, Bloodier and More Badass

Hype is a curious thing. Whenever a long-awaited book, movie, television series or video game finally reaches the anticipatory masses after months of torturous waiting, the end result is almost never as good as audiences had hoped. Like most people who played and loved the original Gears of War, which hit the Xbox 360 in 2006, I fully expected a sequel to come down the pike in the next few years. But would Gears of War 2 be a marked improvement over the first installment, or would Epic Games rest on their laurels and churn out a by-the-numbers rehash of an already-proven formula?

Thankfully, the folks at the North Carolina-based developer have been hard at work on their Gears sequel, taking everything that worked about the first game—namely its cover system, varied weaponry and frenzied gunplay—while implementing new enemy types, sprawling environments, a more involving storyline and some of the best multiplayer modes to hit consoles in quite some time. Oh, and it’s also got flamethrowers. Barbecued Locust, anyone?

Gears 2 takes place six months after the first game, when the Coalition of Ordered Governments (COG) deployed the Lightmass bomb to decimate the sprawling underground tunnels of the Locust Horde, a mysterious race of war-hungry monsters that had emerged from under the surface of the planet Sera 14 years earlier. Once again, players assume the identity of gravel-voiced soldier Marcus Fenix who, along with his fellow Gears and members of Delta Squad, are engaged in a last-ditch effort to cripple the Locust Horde and bring about peace for humans so that they may rebuild their war-torn society.

As a sequel, Gears 2 asks more storyline questions than it really answers—paving the way for the inevitable Gears 3—but you’ll be surprised that, after the end-credits roll, you won’t feel cheated in not knowing the entire story just yet. While it’s a middle chapter—similar in many respects to Star Wars sequel The Empire Strikes Back—Gears 2 has a clear beginning and end. You won’t be left wanting, but you’ll still be excited about what happens next.

One most also note the smaller, more personal story at play in this installment as Dom, a member of Delta Squad, desperately searches for his wife Maria, whom he hasn’t seen for a decade. This adds a level of emotional involvement in the game’s storyline that was absent in the first Gears, but it does unfortunately come in spurts. At one moment, Dom will be close to tears, but he’s gleefully sawing a Locust Drone in half the next. It’s not entirely consistent, but it is important to show just what these gun-toting tough guys are really fighting for.

But it’s what they’re fighting against that most gamers are more concerned with, and Gears 2 throws an impressive collection of new bad guys at Marcus and company. No longer are the formidable Boomers just lumbering oafs with giant guns. This time, players are up against Flame Boomers, Butchers, Grinders, Maulers and Workers. You can probably guess what each of their specialties are. Other new baddies include Locust Flamers—who each come equipped with the aforementioned flamethrower (called a Scorcher)—vicious Bloodmounts, monk-like Kantus and Tickers, which are skittering little creatures that have a tendency to get up-close-and-personal before they explode. Think of them as bloodthirsty time bombs. You will hate Tickers. Kill them quick.

There are larger enemies among the Locust ranks as well. Reavers—the air-borne enemy mounts from the first game—will now attack you from the ground. The hulking Brumaks—which Xbox 360 players only got a glimpse of toward the end of the first game (PC gamers actually got to fight one)—are now a constant threat throughout the single-player campaign. But even these massive beasts are dwarfed by some of the larger foes that Delta Squad must go up against—and inside of.

Graphically, Gears 2 maintains the high level of detail present in the first Gears, but utilizes a broader color palate to escape the repetitive “dirty brown and gray” aesthetic that plagued that game. Now, no two underground tunnels look quite the same, and the variety of locations—from hospitals to labs to underground temples to crumbling city ruins—keeps the campaign visually diverse as you carve a bloody swath through the Locust Horde.

The campaign should take most players around 10 hours to complete on their own on the Normal difficulty setting, but there’s no reason not to revisit previous sections of the game to unlock new achievements or to relive some of the more memorable firefights. However, the real reason to keep coming back to this game is its multiplayer. A vast improvement over the bare-bones multiplayer gameplay in the first game, Gears 2 features eight competitive multiplayer modes, including the new Wingman, Guardian and Submission. A revamped party system and skill-based matchmaking—powered by TrueSkill—makes for a more fluid online experience. Of course, you can still play through the campaign with a buddy using Gears 2’s drop-in/drop-out feature.

However, when all is said and done, the real star of Gears 2 multiplayer is Horde mode, which pits you and four other players against wave after wave of Locust enemies. The mode throws more at you and your teammates as you progress, forcing players to work as a team to attain the highest score possible. It’s fun without being frustrating, and inspires online cooperation as opposed to trash-talking or name-calling. More game developers need to look to Epic’s example.

One would be overzealous in calling Gears 2 a masterpiece, but it’s pretty damn close. A well-constructed, satisfying campaign and deep, addictive multiplayer make this a must-buy. If you don’t own an Xbox 360, go out and get one. Gears 2 is worth the investment.

Publisher: Microsoft Game Studios
Developer: Epic Games
Rating: M
Release Date: November 7, 2008

Images courtesy of Microsoft Game Studios and Epic Games

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: A Wort Report Review

It’s filthy, disgusting and lewd but, like the bulk of writer/director Kevin Smith’s work, its heart is absolutely in the right place. After going back to the well (and successfully so) for 2006’s Clerks II—a sequel to his 1994 low-budget breakout film—Smith returns with the hilarious Zack and Miri Make a Porno, which may be one of his best films to date.

The title pretty much says it all. Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are lifelong best friends and roommates who are in dire straits financially. At their high school reunion, Miri runs into her old crush Bobby Long (Brandon Routh), and unrelentingly hits on him until she realizes that the former high school football star is hardly interested. These days, he’s a gay porn actor, alongside his lover Brandon (Justin Long). All this talk about having sex on film for money gives Zack an idea: what if he and Miri made their own adult film to solve their money woes? Miri is keen to the idea, despite never having slept with Zack in all the years of knowing each other for fear of ruining the friendship. However, sparks start flying when they start getting ready to film their big scene, and they discover that they have feelings for one another that they never knew existed.

Rogen and Banks have terrific onscreen chemistry and are joined by a phenomenal supporting cast, including Smith mainstays Jeff Anderson and Jason Mewes. Craig Robinson, best known from NBC’s The Office and the Judd Apatow-produced Pineapple Express, gives a scene-stealing performance as Zack’s coworker (and porn financier) Delaney, and is really ready for a starring role.

As raunchy as Zack and Miri is—complete with consistently foul language and some visual gags that I probably would have rather not seen—there’s a love story buried underneath the bodily fluids and fecal matter. Smith has always been able to strike a balance between smut and sentiment, but this film is surprisingly adult given its sophomoric premise. With Zack and Miri, it's obvious that Smith has matured as a filmmaker, but that doesn’t mean he’s outgrown dick jokes and Star Wars references. Thankfully.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Director/Writer: Kevin Smith
Producer: Scott Mosier
Starring: Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Jason Mewes, Traci Lords, Jeff Anderson, Katie Morgan, Ricky Mabe
Release Date: October 31, 2008
Rated: R

Bond’s Best Game Since GoldenEye

Released in 1997, Rare’s GoldenEye 007 for the Nintendo 64 was a revolutionary title. Not only did it prove that first-person shooters really could work on consoles, but it also showed that a licensed game based on a movie—in this case, the 1995 James Bond film GoldenEye—could transcend expectations and become one of the best games ever released.

For the Bond franchise, that success has been a hard act to follow. After the release of GoldenEye, the license shifted to Electronic Arts, who released movie-based and original Bond titles, all of which were met with mixed reviews. The latest Bond game, Quantum of Solace, is published by Activision and, thanks to its use of the acclaimed Call of Duty 4 game engine, it’s easily the best Bond game since GoldenEye. However, its all-too-brief campaign mode coupled with “been there, done that” multiplayer makes it strictly a weekend rental.

The game is based on both the Quantum of Solace film and its predecessor, Casino Royale, with Daniel Craig providing the voice of his film counterpart along with Eva Green, Judi Dench, Mads Mikkelsen, Olga Kurylenko and Mathieu Amalric. While it spans two films, don’t expect to spend more than five hours on the single-player game. Even for a movie-based game, players should get far more in a solo experience for a $60 game.

It plays and controls very similarly to Call of Duty 4—also published by Activision—and this is a very good thing. Players familiar with Call of Duty’s run-and-gun gameplay should feel very comfortable slipping into Bond’s tuxedo, and the game’s newly integrated cover system is welcome during its more intense firefights. There are some quieter moments where Bond has to be stealthy and avoid detection, but a majority of the game is heavy on the gunplay. It won’t take you all that long, but you will have fun playing through Quantum of Solace.

Like just about every game released over the past few years, Quantum of Solace breaks up the action with quick-time events and Simon Says-esque “hacking” sequences. Most gamers have no doubt tired with these by now, but developers keep insisting that we want interactive cutscenes and “follow the flashing lights” puzzles, yet developers keep forcing them on us. They don’t hurt the game in any sense, but they add absolutely nothing. Gamers like puzzles, but not when they’re this easy.

And easy is a great way to describe Quantum of Solace as a whole. On the default difficulty setting, most gamers will hardly break a sweat as most levels boil down to “find some cover, wait for enemies to reload and shoot them in the face.” Also, the enemy AI is a bit dull, as the bad guys are usually content with either finding terrible hiding places next to explosive gas canisters or running headlong into Bond as if to say “Daniel Craig! I loved you in Layer Cake!” before getting a few rounds in the chest. For a real challenge, most dedicated gamers will probably find themselves upping the difficulty level almost immediately.

Aside from some minor character animation issues and the fact that most of the game’s enemies seem to shop at the same “evil henchman” clothing store, Quantum of Solace is a beautiful game, recreating locales from both films while retaining a visually distinct Bond flavor. If you’ve played Call of Duty 4, you know the level of detail to expect. Graphically, this game doesn’t disappoint in the slightest.

Aside from the single-player campaign, the multiplayer is reasonably good, although it does little to improve on anything that’s been done before in previous first-person shooters. There are plenty of fun gameplay modes—including Golden Gun and Bond Versus, which pits one player, as Bond, against six members of the Organization—but it’s essentially Call of Duty 4 with a new coat of paint. If you’ve never experienced that game’s online multiplayer then there’s certainly nothing wrong with Quantum of Solace and it plays extremely well. However, if you’re expecting something groundbreaking you won’t find it here.

And in this crowded fall 2008 release season, a title really does need to break new ground to compete with the big dogs like Fable II, Gears of War 2 and LittleBigPlanet. If you’re a Bond fan, there’s no reason why you won’t enjoy Quantum of Solace, but it’s hard to recommend a purchase for anyone else. However, it’s definitely a game worth playing. Bond hasn’t been this good in over a decade and, hopefully, we’ll be seeing him again on consoles real soon.

Publisher: Activision
Developer: Treyarch (PlayStation 3, Xbox 360)
Rating: T
Release Date: November 4, 2008 (US)

Images courtesy of Activision