Sgt. West’s Giant Douche Club Band

Last night at the MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West pretty much brought to the surface everything that’s wrong with popular music—and pop culture, some would argue—by exhibiting a complete and total disregard for class and common decency in front of the entire world. In case you’ve spent your Monday under a rock (or without an Internet connection), West rushed the stage during Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for Best Female Video to proclaim that Beyoncé Knowles should have won instead.

“Yo Taylor, I'm really happy for you, I'ma let you finish, but Beyoncé has one of the best videos of all time," West said, referring to the sexy video for “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).” Swift was noticeably crushed when West snatched the mic from her. Everyone else just got douche chills.

MTV Shows

Of course, Knowles proved later on that not only is she one of the hottest performers on the planet, but she is also among the most gracious. While accepting her award for Video of the Year, she invited Swift onstage for a second shot at her speech. So bravo to her.

Since we’re on the subject of MTV (great segue, right?), I picked up MTV Games’ The Beatles: Rock Band for Xbox 360 this weekend and, as a self-proclaimed Beatlemaniac, it’s amazing. While I thought I’d grown bored with rhythm games and their needlessly overpriced plastic peripherals, developer Harmonix has truly delivered a love letter to Beatles fans. And, as the song goes, “Love is all you need.”

I should mention that I am a terrible faux drummer. If the game’s higher difficulty levels are any indication, Ringo Starr is a better musician than we’ve been giving him credit for.

Do You Like Your Toast on the Dark Side?

The Star Wars merchandising juggernaut rolls on! In anticipation of Comic-Con International—from July 23 through 26 in San Diego—Wired.com reports that Lucasfilm is introducing a new tie-in product that is as strange as it is awesomely geeky: the Darth Vader toaster.

Now available for pre-order on StarWars.com for $54.99, the toaster bears the Star Wars logo and is appropriately shiny and black. Not only does this appliance look cool (well, about as “cool” as a Star Wars-branded toaster can be), but it actually burns an image of Vader’s imposing visage right on the toast. Breakfast has never been this evil.

Says the product description, “Force power not required to operate toaster!”

Okay, Now They’re Doing a View-Master Movie

It’s been a surreal Fourth of July weekend thus far. On Friday, my 1999 Subaru Legacy finally kicked the proverbial bucket (busted transmission, I’m sure). It’s pretty sad that I’m losing my first “real” car (not counting my dad’s Toyota Corolla that I learned to drive on), but the incident has finally given me the push I needed to go out there and get a new vehicle. The search begins on Monday, and I’ll keep you posted on my quest for the Wortwagon Mark II. Yep, I just called it that.

While my much-needed four-day weekend has allowed me to indulge in my dual love for barbecues and exploding stuff (thankfully not the aforementioned car), there was a news item that caught my eye late last week that I can’t seem to shake. I didn’t want to blog, write or do anything work related over the long weekend in an attempt to preserve my sanity, but the fact that someone out there is actually considering making a full-length movie about the friggin’ View-Master has only served to drive me further into the depths of madness.

Coming Soon reports that Fringe co-writer/producer Brad Caleb Cane wrote on his Twitter page that a film based on the iconic toy is in the works. Star Trek/Transformers scribes Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman will be involved. Kane describes the film as being “like the old Amblin movies: Goonies, Young Sherlock…in that vein.”

And I thought an Asteroids movie was a bad idea. At this rate, someone’s going to fast-track Slinky: The Movie to capitalize on this trend of idiocy. I can hear the trailer now.

“Alone or in pairs…this summer…one metal coil springs into action.”

Michael Jackson: 1958-2009

Regardless of how you felt about his alleged personal life, Michael Jackson left an indelible imprint on the music world and was arguably one of the most influential pop superstars of all time.

Following his passing on June 25, it’s refreshing to see the King of Pop making headlines not for child molestation charges, plastic surgery speculation or other oddities; but for his work as an artist. While I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as a Michael Jackson fan—I was born after Thriller’s release and never really latched onto the majority of his music as I got older—it’s hard to deny his talent not only as a musician but as a performer and a showman. Thriller ranks among the best pop albums of all time, and his “Thriller” short film, directed by John Landis with makeup effects by Rick Baker, remains the best example of how a music video can be far more than a promotional tool.

To watch “Thriller” and the rest of Jackson’s groundbreaking music videos, visit his official YouTube page.

Random Bloggery: Saved by the Bell Update for June 19!

This just in!


Bayside High School student Zack Morris, pictured here, is alerting the authorities.

Image courtesy: Andrew Metzger (The Needle Ninja)

Random Bloggery for June 12

Happy Friday, Wortmaniacs! I’ve got a ton of obligations all weekend, so I’ll likely be away from the computer for the next few days indulging in what some may call a “social life.” Unless the Internet implodes, I’ll be back next week with more geeky blog goodness.

And what happens next week? Ghostbusters: The Video Game slimes store shelves on Tuesday! If you see me in a Ghostbusters T-shirt in the near future, you’ll know why. It won’t just be because I’m a total nerd. Only partially.

Because we’re all so pumped for this game—and because the flowers are still standing—here’s a preview of the Ghostbusters game that I came across on Topless Robot this morning (via GameTrailers). Enjoy!

Video Games | Ghostbusters | Preview HD

XBox 360 | Playstation 3 | Nintendo Wii

Random Bloggery for June 7

I would write a full review of The Hangover—which opened June 5—but to spare you all from a long-winded examination of Zach Galifianakis’ comedy stylings, I’ll just say that it’s hilarious and that you’d all be doing yourselves a favor in checking it out before all of the catch-phrases are ruined for you by drunk people at parties this summer.

On the gaming front, I recently picked up the Punch Out!! remake for the Nintendo Wii. Having already played the original 8-bit version repeatedly on the Wii’s Virtual Console, I was skeptical as to whether a graphical update and the addition of motion controls warranted the $50 price tag. Fortunately, it's worth the money if you're a fan of the original game.

The motion controls are pretty neat, but the game really does play best if you turn the Wii Remote on its side and use the classic Nintendo control style. Punch Out!! requires very precise timing and, unfortunately, the motion controls just aren’t as accurate as they need to be against the game’s harder opponents. However, no matter what control scheme you prefer, the unique multiplayer is a hell of a lot of fun.

Speaking of Nintendo, they made some interesting announcements at last week’s Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles, including New Super Mario Bros. Wii and Super Mario Galaxy 2. Not groundbreaking stuff by any means, but they look to be promising titles, even if they're both retreads.

Watch the trailer for Super Mario Galaxy 2 (via G4TV) below.

Video Games - E3 2009 - Video Game Trailers

Random Bloggery for May 31

Wow, I can’t believe it’s almost June. Sooner than we’d all like to admit, we’ll be talking about the great “Summer of 2009” in the past tense. I’m not too sure I’m prepared for that.

This weekend, Pixar’s Up and Sam Raimi’s Drag Me to Hell hit theaters, and should prove to be a nice change of pace for everyone who’s already getting tired of big-budget franchise blockbusters. If you’ve seen either of those movies, I’d love for you to share your thoughts.

I’m also excited about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, which hits U.S. theaters on June 24. While fairly mindless, Michael Bay’s original Transformers ably tapped into what it means to wow summer audiences in a satisfying fashion. Sure, it’s loud and heavily dependent on special effects, but it’s hard to feel cheated after watching Transformers. McG should take notes if he winds up helming additional Terminator flicks. A lot of folks might despite him, but Bay certainly has style.

On August 7, another Hasbro property makes its big-screen debut with G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. After Transformers turned out surprisingly well in 2007, I was oddly confident that Stephen Sommers (The Mummy, Van Helsing) might have a hit on his hands. This likely won’t be the case. This movie looks friggin’ awful. If you need proof, watch the clip below.

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

Random Bloggery for May 23

Memorial Day weekend came just when I needed it. My stress level has remained fairly high over the past week, and spending my free moments listening to Eminem’s Relapse and reading the latest Chuck Palahniuk novel, Pygmy, has probably only made me even more unhinged. Well, more unhinged than usual.

Despite overall mixed reviews, I’m pretty pumped to see Terminator Salvation this evening. As much as I appreciate fine filmmaking, I’m always partial to robots and explosions. As long as this movie delivers both with a minimum of facepalm moments I’ll deem it a success. I’ll post a full review on Broken Frontier after the holiday. In the meantime, check out the trailer below.

That’s it for me this week. Have a happy and safe Memorial Day!

Random Bloggery for May 15

Happy Friday, Wortmaniacs! I hope you all have awesome plans for the weekend, whether they be going out for a few drinks, taking a road trip, hanging out with friends or marveling at Tom Hanks’ computer-generated coif in Angels & Demons, which opens today. Wait, that’s a practical visual effect? Could have fooled me.

I'll most likely be spending a lot of time sleeping off a cold that I caught a few days ago. Fun, I know. But speaking of things I picked up this week, I bought the latest Green Day album, 21st Century Breakdown, and I really like what I’ve heard so far. Stay tuned for a Wort Report Review.

On the gaming front, I finished X-Men Origins: Wolverine-Uncaged Edition for Xbox 360 last weekend. While it’s by no means a perfect action game—the enemy AI is pretty stupid and some of the stages seem to go on forever with little sense of pacing—it’s incredibly satisfying overall. The game is refreshingly violent and visceral in ways Hugh Jackman’s film character could never be without jeopardizing a “family-friendly” PG-13 rating. In short, this is one of the rare cases where a video game adaptation is far better than the movie it’s based on. Give it a try even if you couldn’t stand the cringe-inducing Wolverine film.

Random Bloggery: Star Trek Edition

It’s finally here. Wowing audiences and far surpassing most critical expectations—earning a 96% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes as of this writing—J.J. Abrams’ highly anticipated Star Trek reboot is finally in theaters. In all of my years of being a devout Star Wars nerd, I can safely say that I’m beyond excited to see this film. Blasphemy, I know.

I’d always appreciated Star Trek to some degree. I grew up catching episodes of the original series and The Next Generation here and there, and I’d seen a handful of the feature films. However, I never felt like it was something I was a part of. While Star Wars felt like home—I’d practically memorized The Empire Strikes Back before I was four years old—Star Trek remained foreign to me. As the years went on, I seemed to explore just about every aspect of geek culture, but I never truly latched on to Trek. It was, in many ways, my “final frontier.”

However, in preparation for the new film’s May 7 release, I decided months ago to educate myself on all things Trek. I’ve now seen all of the films featuring the original crew—already placing The Wrath of Khan among my favorite science fiction films of all time—and have finally seen every episode of the original series. I thankfully stopped short of purchasing an English-Klingon dictionary, but I now have a far greater appreciation for Gene Roddenberry’s optimistic view of the future. We could all use a bit of that hope for tomorrow at this point in history.

I’ll be reviewing Star Trek on Broken Frontier this week, but I’d love to hear what Wortmaniacs think of it. Feel free to post your thoughts on the franchise relaunch in the comments section below.

Random Bloggery for May 1

In the spirit of Friday, here’s a hilarious video I came across on Topless Robot, which features commentary track highlights from the Conan the Barbarian DVD. In the clip, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes some of the funniest observations I’ve ever heard on a DVD commentary.



Speaking of DVDs, I picked up the first volume of the animated X-Men series (released this week) as well as the first season of Chuck, a show that I sincerely hope NBC picks up next season. I’ll be watching plenty of both this weekend.

Random Bloggery for April 24

If you're like me and live in the greater New York area, you have some phenomenal weather to look forward to this weekend, with plenty of sun and temperatures in the 80s. Go fly a kite or ride a bike or something.

But before you squeeze into those bicycle shorts—and we all wish you wouldn’t—check out this awesome opening cinematic for Ghostbusters: The Video Game, which hits Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 on June 16.

Random Bloggery for April 17

Hey gang, I'm gonna keep this one brief. I’m trying desperately to de-stress before an assuredly jam-packed weekend deprives me of sleep for two days. In addition to some writing projects I’m working on, I hope to finally finish Resident Evil 5, which gets incredibly good toward the end. I also may play a bit more of Fallout 3 to earn back some of the gamer cred I probably lost when I let it collect dust since I bought it in January.

On top of all that, I’m also trying to work my way through the original Star Trek series before the new J.J. Abrams movie hits theaters on May 7 (yes, I know it’s a reboot and watching the series is pretty irrelevant). As a Star Wars kid growing up, I was never all that into Trek, but now I’ve really come to appreciate the classic series for what it is. I’ve also watched Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan a few times over the last few months, and I've learned it's a phenomenal revenge film whether or not you’re a Trekkie (or is it Trekker these days?). I'm a series convert, but don't expect me to get fitted for Vulcan ears or anything...yet.

If you want to cyber-stalk me in-between updates/articles/reviews/minutiae, follow me on Twitter.

Random Bloggery for April 11

Hey all, just want to wish everyone out there a very Happy Easter and a Happy Passover. It’s been a crazy week for me, and I look forward to relaxing with family and getting in some quality time with my Xbox 360. Hopefully I can find a way to combine the two, but I don’t think my niece would have all that much fun with Fallout 3. Post-apocalyptic wastelands aren’t very inviting to toddlers.

If you’ve had your ears and/or eyes open at all this week, you may have caught Eminem’s new video for “We Made You,” the first single off his forthcoming album Relapse, which hits store shelves on May 19. Anyone that knew me in high school and college knows that I was a huge Eminem fan, particularly when it came to The Marshall Mathers LP and The Eminem Show, which may be two of the best rap albums in the last decade. Feel free to tell me I’m wrong.

“We Made You” continues Eminem’s trend of releasing a radio-friendly celebrity slam to promote the much better material on the rest of his albums. However, Eminem hasn’t released a full-fledged album since 2004’s so-so Encore, and the entertainment landscape has changed significantly since then. Today, it's commonplace to take snarky shots at celebrities such as Amy Winehouse, Lindsay Lohan and Sarah Palin, all of whom were already ripped to shreds by the tabloids and gossip blogs months ago. If Eminem wanted to be edgy, he should have gone after people who aren't such easy targets.

But watch the video and judge for yourself.

Random Bloggery for April 3

Happy Friday! Last week, I unofficially launched a new regular feature on The Wort Report called Random Bloggery, which will serve as an informal update on all the stuff I’ve gotten my grubby little hands on over the past week. Since The Wort Report isn’t my full-time job and things like food, sleep and a social life aren’t always conducive to writing 600-word reviews of every movie I see or game I play, this will be an easy way for me to separate the “LOL WIN!” from the “OMG FAIL!”

On the gaming front, I’ve been thoroughly enjoying both MadWorld and Resident Evil 5, although I fear that the over-the-top bloodshed of the former may become tiring after a while. When I first fired it up on my Wii, I was amazed by the intuitive control scheme and the brutal stylized violence. However, by the time I decapitated my fifth zombie with a golf club, I found myself wishing this game had a bit more to it.

Resident Evil 5, while doing little to reinvent the franchise like its 2005 predecessor, is a quality action title that ties up a lot of the series’ loose ends. As of this writing, I’m very close to the end of the game yet I’m still unfortunately all-too-often grappling with its aging control scheme and frustrating inventory system. That said, Resident Evil 5 is intense, fun and sometimes even scary. I highly recommend it.

Speaking of things I highly recommend, you should really go see I Love You, Man. I caught it last weekend, and while I loathe the term “bromance” to describe a movie genre, the film is a really humorous take on male camaraderie. Stars Jason Segel and Paul Rudd—having displayed great on-screen chemistry in last year’s Forgetting Sarah Marshall—are really likeable characters here. I particularly liked how Rudd’s character is awkwardly incapable of coming up with nicknames for male friends. I plan on working “Jobin,” one of his many failed attempts, into at least one conversation this week. Be warned, Jobin. Oh, would you look at that. Mission accomplished! Y'see kids, just aim low. That way, you're always a winner!